


Falling

by SuzFleeg



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:12:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 34,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5007781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzFleeg/pseuds/SuzFleeg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evelyn Trevelyan literally fell into the Inquisition and has been getting her bearings since. She may just be falling again, but this time it's for a ridiculously handsome Commander of their forces.</p><p>I was on hiatus from this story for a long time *cough*severalyears*cough* but I kept thinking about it and new scenes and ideas... I couldn't resist the draw to come back to it. I am so excited to share this story with you guys and I hope you like it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

****Evelyn was falling, falling, falling. She felt her feet hit the ground followed by her knees. She gasped at the pain in her legs, then at the pain in her hand. She looked at the offending palm which was glowing with an eerie green light. Light, light headed, world spinning. She knew she was just doing something important but she couldn’t think through the fog billowing through her mind. She must have fallen over because her face was in something soft, cold- snow. She moaned as the pain in her hand tore through her body again and she curled up into a ball around the throbbing limb. She heard a crunch in the snow and saw the glint of that same emerald light off of a sliver boot. There was someone talking- to her? She couldn’t make out any words- they all sounded so far away. She felt herself being picked up into someone’s arms and carried to some unknown destination. The last thing she experienced before passing out again was gold and silver and the low rumble of voices.

 

...

 

Cullen was outnumbered. By a lot. He had only ten remaining men with him, many of whom were limping and bleeding, barely able to stand. There were at least a dozen demons circling them like vultures waiting for death, and more were sure to come. One lashed out at him with sharp claws but he bashed it with his shield, stunning it for a precious few seconds while he gathered his strength in his right arm and dove his sword up to the hilt in the demon’s chest. It screeched and withered to the ground. His other men were fighting like trapped animals. They wouldn’t last much longer like this. _Andraste preserve us_.

 

Suddenly there was a whirl and a thunk right next to his ear. Cullen spun around with lightning speed to face whatever demon was attacking him. He lunged with his sword and hit… a shield? _Since when do demons use shields?_ Cassandra peeked around her shield at Cullen with annoyance.

 

“We are supposed to be fighting the demons, not each other,” she told him with an arched brow.

 

Relief flooded over him as he looked from Cassandra to the reinforcements she brought with her.

“Well thank the Maker you are on our side,” He said with a smirk.

 

“You should be thanking me, since I just saved you from that demon,” Cassandra replied with the hint of a smile on her lips.

 

Their reprieve was short lived as the rift sparked and started spewing out more demons. Cassandra, Cullen, and their men ripped through the demons easily and headed toward the rift to better inspect it before another round of demons appeared.

 

“Have you found any survivors?” Cassandra said, glancing around the perimeter.

 

“No survivors, but plenty of bodies,” Cullen replied solemnly.

 

Just then, the rift sparked again but no demons appeared. Cullen shifted his stance uneasily, waiting to slash whatever was thrown at them.

 

“NO!” A woman’s voice screamed.

 

Cullen glanced at Cassandra who just shrugged her shoulders.

 

That was when a woman fell out of the rift at their feet. Stunned, Cullen didn’t move. The woman landed on her feet which gave out and sunk to her knees. He had been around demons plenty of times to know that they could change their appearance so he still kept his sword drawn as he cautiously walked toward her. There was a bright green ember of light on her palm that made him even wearier of her. The strange woman’s hand suddenly burst into a brighter bloom and she fell to her side a yelped at the pain.

 

Cullen sheathed his sword but gave a look to Cassandra who nodded at him and followed with her sword still drawn. The woman’s eyes were still closed and she seemed to have fainted. Cassandra nudged her with her boot but the woman still didn’t move. Cullen knelt down to inspect the woman. She was covered in dirt but didn’t look hurt- other than the eerie light blinking in her palm. He gave a quick cursory inspection to see if she was badly wounded. She was average size with long brown hair pulled back into a braid. She had a spattering of freckles along her nose and her cheeks were gaunt- like she hasn’t been eating well for a while. He moved one of his hands to the girl’s temple, drawing on his remaining Templar strength. Cassandra studied him with her hard brown eyes. He shook his head. _No, she’s not a demon, nor is she possessed by one._

 

“We had better take her back and have her looked at,” Cassandra said, sheathing her sword. “Especially _that_ … thing,” she pointed at the woman’s hand, still glowing green.

 

Cullen stood up and turned to the troops. “Let’s move out,” He yelled, “But be ready- there may be more demons ahead.”

 

He turned back to the woman in the snow and picked her up. She was cold and shivering from laying in the snow, so he wrapped his fur trimmed cloak around her. He had a feeling she was going to need all the rest she could get before the nightingale got a hold of her.


	2. Chapter 2

Evelyn wakes up in a cold, dark place- a dungeon? There is a clank when she tries to move- realizing her hands and legs are chained in cold steel. The air is damp and dank. A bright green burst from her hand surprises her and she gasps, then jumps as her cell door bursts open. Two women walk through and circle her. A dark haired woman speaks, her voice low and raspy with grief as she explains that everyone who had been at the conclave was now dead. She is shocked and the voices fall away as the gravity of the situation seeps into her. How? How could this be? She felt like she was just there. She faintly remembers a loud explosion, but the memory slips through her fingers like sand when she tries to concentrate on it. The dark haired woman picks up her hand and asks for an explanation as the emerald glow returns. The other woman with the cloak over her head steps in the way saying that they needed her- asking her what she remembered. Her words are kind, but her eyes are not. Spiders, but larger than she had ever known. A woman- glowing with in the same eerie green as her hand. The two women whisper something to each other as the cloaked one leaves. The other helps her up and says that she needs to see something. Outside, snow is falling, but her eyes gaze upward at a massive green tear that goes up miles upon miles. A rift to the fade, the woman calls it, spitting out demons and growing larger with each breath. The breach crackles and her hand explodes with pain and light. The woman tells her the mark is killing her. She is suspicious, but Evelyn knows there is no way that she could have done this- even if she doesn’t remember anything. 

 

Evelyn and Cassandra start traveling toward one of the smaller breaches, several times having to stop from either a large green glowing comet or the pain in her hand overwhelming her. When a demon starts attacking Evelyn spies a staff laying on the ground in a pile of rubble. She picked it up feeling the familiar surge of magic thrum through her veins. With a staff she feels whole again, less vulnerable. She helps kill the demon with ease. Cassandra is startled that she is a mage and tells her to drop her weapon but there is no way  _ that _ is happening. They come to an accord and stalk off toward the rift again. After several battles they are almost there. She can feel it in her hand. The air is thick with magic and the sound of fighting.  The rift up close is… beautiful, if you can get over the fear and dread lingering in the air. An elven mage and dwarf are fighting near the rift. The elf takes her hand and pushes it toward the rift, which starts to crackle and close. The pain in her hand is immense but tolerable. She is getting used to this ache throbbing through her veins. 

 

Cassandra, Evelyn, Varric and Solas fight their way through several more bouts of demons to close another rift, this time by herself. She takes a moment to get to feel the energy surrounding the rift- dark, swirling, screaming. The magic so potent but also so different from the magic she herself uses. In all her years in the circle, she had seen many forms of magic- her own specialty being spirit because she always thought it felt the best to wield- soft and alive, like nature, but also powerful, like nature. The crackling of lightning, the roar of fire, the chill of cold, even the raw, sharp power of blood magic when a circle mage went rogue, nothing felt like this did. She closed the rift with haste, shivering after, like it took something from her. 

  
  


“I demand you place her in irons and take her to Val Royeaux to stand trial!” Chancellor Rodderick was screaming at Cassandra, spittle shooting from his mouth in rage. Evelyn felt like a chasm had opened up below her and she was just waiting to fall. Her eyes widened with terror when Cassandra comes to her aid, basically telling him to stick it. Oh thank the maker.  _ It feels good to have her on my side for once _ , she thinks.

 

They continue to head for the largest breach, shining like a beacon in the sky, passing shriveled, twisted bodies petrified in positions of agony. And if that wasn’t creepy enough, the rift hung like a green sun in the sky, casting its otherworldly glow on the surrounding pit. Flanked by Leliana and her bowmen, they cautiously walk toward the massive rift.

 

Voices, a woman, a man, her own start spitting out of the rift. Cassandra looks aghast to hear the Divine’s voice, crying for help. Evelyn is surprised to hear her own, especially when the man’s voice, sinister and dark, sentences her to death. She doesn’t remember anything that happened- it’s all a fog shifting and shaping. 

 

Evelyn starts to reopen the rift when an enormous pride demon materializes and laughs menacingly. She quickly uses her mark to start closing the rift, stunning the demon when it sends out a large burst of magical energy. There is a whirl of movement as everyone is fighting, magic and arrows whirring by her ears at the massive beast. She wants to move back, where her magic is most effective, but must remain close to the rift to disrupt it again. More demons are pouring out of the fade, one swiping at her side as a shock of pain follows. Evelyn moves to seal the rift for good, noticing that Varric and Solas are unconscious, laying on the ground face down. Cassandra is the only one standing and she isn’t looking so well either. Evelyn sends a prayer to the maker that this will work and lifts her hand, feeling the now familiar thrum of that strange magic flowing down her arm towards that great hole in the sky. There is a huge burst of energy, so big it knocks her back and her head hits a rock. Her eyes start to close as she sees Cassandra move toward her, telling her she did it- it is done. 


	3. Chapter 3

Cullen started from his desk when he heard a loud crack, like ice breaking. He raced from his tent and looked to the rift. It was still there, but something was different. It was calmer. He felt relief flood over him. She did it. Solas thought she would be able to disrupt, even close rifts but Cullen had been skeptical. There was hope for them yet.

 

The party returned a half hour later. Cassandra was in the front with the woman slung haphazardly over one shoulder. Cullen spied them immediately and rushed over to help Cassandra, taking the woman from him. The party looked warn and solemn. Cassandra sighed as the weight lifted from her and looked like she too was about to keel over.

 

“Thank you. She is a lot heavier than she looks,” Cassandra said, breathlessly.

 

“How did it go?”

 

“The rift will not be a problem now, but we will have to close it permanently once she is feeling up to it.” Solas stared off into the distance, contemplating something.

 

“For now, we rest.” Cassandra stalked off to her quarters and the rest of the group disbanded to their own respective beds.

 

Cullen was left to take her to her quarters yet again. Despite having to carry her to her room several times already, he wondered if he would ever get to actually meet her while she was awake.

 

...

 

Evelyn awoke to find herself in a soft bed, the back of her head throbbing in pain. She groaned and lifted herself to the edge of the bed, gently touching the back of her head. She heard a crash and someone say they were sorry. She looked up to see a young elf servant prostrate in front of her.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were awake, I swear!”

 

This girl couldn’t be serious, could she?

 

“They say you saved us. The breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand. You saved us! It’s all anyone has been talking about for three days.”

 

_Three days?!_  She had been asleep for three days?

 

The elf tells her hurriedly that Cassandra was waiting for her in the Chantry and scuttled out of the room. Evelyn takes a moment to survey her surroundings. A note on the desk has some scribbles on it about her status while she was unconscious. _Wish we could station a Templar in here, just in case._ A Templar? Her spine shivered. After her days in the circle she could do the rest of her life without seeing another Templar. She remembered one or two ones who had said kind words to her, but for the most part, they were cold, distant, and judgmental. It was their duty to make sure she didn’t turn into an abomination but some took it to extremes. Then, after the mage uprising and all of the circles collapsing, even the nice ones turned on her. She remembered the moment her circle turned too. It wasn’t all at once, but some mages started disappearing, then one by one there was only herself and a handful of mages left. The same thing went for the Templars, by the end there were but three left to watch them. After one of the mages turned to blood magic, the Templars were practically frothing at the bit to make her tranquil or kill her. She did her best to survive the following months on her own, harrowing though they were. She even discarded her staff to make her less of a target, but somehow Templars always knew.

 

She tried to shrug off the bad memories, after all, this was a bit of a new start, even if it hasn’t turned out the way she had hoped. She was determined to stay optimistic. At least she didn’t wake up in chains this time.

 

She looked around the room- she had always been a bit of a snoop and on occasion she had been known to loot some bodies that were maybe just a little dead. _I mean, it’s not like they were using it,_ she thought to herself.

 

Evelyn left the house to find a frosty breeze cool her cheeks. This place, Haven the elf called it, smelled of cold and campfires. There were dozens of people standing around, whispering as she walked by.

 

“That’s her! That’s the Herald of Andraste.” She heard someone murmur to a companion. She looked around to see who this Herald of Andraste was, but then she realized they were talking about _her._

“They say she closed the rift!”

 

“They say when she walked out of the fade, Andraste herself was behind her.”

 

She had to get away from all of this, clear her head. It was all a bit much for just waking up from a three day coma. She practically ran toward the Chantry, closing the door with a sigh on the other side. What was to await her when she saw Cassandra? She assumed the cloaked woman would be there as well. She took a deep breath and walked to the end of the hallway to what she assumed was some sort of headquarters. She could tell she was right when she heard Chancellor Rodderick yelling about taking her to trial again. She had hoped that closing the breach would prove that she was innocent. Maybe… maybe she could still escape? She could run for the hills… and do what? Hide out with all of the other apostate mages again? She couldn’t go back to that life- that was why she was at the conclave to begin with- in hopes of bettering the life for herself and all the other mages. No, she couldn’t run away from this. They said she was important and she could close the rifts. Evelyn squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

 

“Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial.” Chancellor Rodderick was looking especially grumpy today.

 

“Disregard that, and leave us.” Cassandra said to the guards behind her. A breath she didn’t know she had been holding escaped her lips.

 

Chancellor Rodderick and Cassandra bickered a little before she said she believed Evelyn was innocent.

 

“So you changed your mind about me” She asked, bewildered.

 

“I was wrong. Perhaps I still am” Cassandra replied. There was a kindness to her face that Evelyn had never seen. Perhaps, she would be a friend, but only time would tell. And this trial they keep speaking about. She would really prefer them to _not_ send her to her death in Val Royeaux, but that may just be personal preference.

 

Evelyn wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying until Cassandra slammed a large book onto the table.

 

“As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn.”

 

_Inquisition? Now what was this all about?_  She stopped paying attention again while Leliana said something about having no leader, allies, or Chantry support. That didn’t sound very good. So what exactly were they?

 

“We must act now. With you at our side.”

 

“When I woke up, I certainly didn’t picture this outcome,” Evelyn said.

 

“Neither did we,” Leliana retorted.

 

Cassandra put out her hand, “Help us fix this before it’s too late.”

 

Evelyn looked at her hand for a second, still trying to think if it was too late to bolt. In the end, Cassandra’s stern yet pleading eyes forced her to reach her hand out to meet Cassandra’s.


	4. Chapter 4

Cassandra called a meeting of the council early the next day. Too early if you asked her. She walked groggily to the war room, as they were now calling it. Cassandra and Leliana were already there, looking over a large, aged map with all of Thedas on it. There were two new people as well. Cassandra introduced Josephine, a beautiful Antivan woman in bright silks, quill in hand, as the liaison. Then she introduced Commander Cullen and her heart stopped. Templar. She could tell just from the way he held himself. He wasn’t in his Templar armor but she knew. And she could tell he knew she was a mage. Just as he held out his hand to shake hers, he stopped. He gave a sidelong glance to Cassandra and she imperceptibly nodded her head. He seemed to resign himself to his fate and fully extended his arm. Evelyn took a step back, still wondering if it was too late to run. Cassandra seemed to sense this reaction and gave a slight push to her back in his direction. She took a deep breath and met his hand.

 

“Um, nice to meet you,” She said, voice a little shaky.

 

“You as well,” He said stiffly. 

 

As the meeting went on, Cullen seemed to lighten up a little. He even some good advice on what the Inquisition needed to do next. Despite knowing Cassandra and Leliana were present, she found it hard to concentrate on anything they were saying. Something about finding a Mother Giselle and gaining her support. Evelyn knew it was going to be hard to be in this close of proximity to a Templar given her history with them. He seemed agreeable enough, but so did other Templars she had known. They may act nice to you in front of others, but when you were alone, they were all sharp tongues and commands. 

They were looking at her expectantly. Uh-oh. She had missed something again. What were they saying before she got lost in her memories? 

 

“What should we do, Herald?” Cassandra looked at her, then rested her hands against the table, looking at the map.

 

“So  _ I’m _ supposed to figure out what to do?” Evelyn said in bewilderment. “Just a few days ago I was in the dungeons in chains.”

 

“The people look to you as the Herald on Andraste,” Cassandra said matter-of-factly.

 

Evelyn winced at the title but tried to put on as brave a face as possible in front of all these people, watching her expectantly. 

 

“I guess we should… scout the Hinterlands?”

 

Cassandra nodded in approval.

 

The whole party started discussing movements and who should go where. Evelyn just stood back, unsure of what to do. Soon, the meeting was over and people were leaving. Thank the maker. She had just enough time to sneak back to her room, hoping no one would bother her. She leaned her body against the closed door and sunk to the floor. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but she never expected there to be Templars here. She should have known better- Templars seemed to be everywhere these days. But part of the council? Maybe they had called him in to keep an eye on her like the letter had stated. Whatever it was, she was planning on keeping her distance. 


	5. Chapter 5

Evelyn was so done with the Hinterlands. She came back to Haven with one Mother Giselle, a horsemaster, and enough Elfroot to heal the whole camp. She immediately went to her quarters to feel what it was like to have a bed that wasn’t a roll on the cold ground. She sighed with contentment to feel the linen bedsheets and laid her head down.  _ Just a short rest _ , she told herself. 

 

She awoke with a start to a knock on her door. She jolted out of bed, robes askew and noticed it was now dark outside. How long had she been asleep? The knocking intensified.

 

“Just a minute,” she grumbled as she tried to tame her unruly brown hair and smooth the creases out of her clothes. 

 

She opened the door to a sheepish looking Commander Cullen. She was taken aback, since he was the last person she had expected, or wanted, at her door. All too reminiscent of her days in the circle with someone always keeping an eye on her. 

 

“Cassandra is expecting us at a meeting in the war room. She sent me to wake you.”

 

“Oh, ok. I will be there in a minute.” She was silently throwing a temper tantrum in her brain.  _ One night of sleep! Is that too much to ask?!  _ She stood there for a second, staring at Cullen, and when he didn’t leave she realized that he wasn’t to be shaken so easily. She pursed her lips and turned back to her room. She grabbed her staff and secured it to her back. “Alright, let’s go.”

 

Commander Cullen eyed her staff cautiously but said nothing. They walked together in silence for a while, heading to the Chantry. She coughed as her lungs acclimated to the cold, dry weather again. 

 

“What?” Cullen asked, startled.

 

“What?” She replied, “I didn’t say anything.”

 

“Oh,” muttered, uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

_ Oh Maker guide me, _ Evelyn thought. This was going to be awkward. It seemed that he felt equally as uncomfortable as she, probably for the same reason. 

 

When they made it to the war room, a sigh of relief came over her as she saw the rest of the council members. They all started arguing over what to do next and she just watched. They expectantly looked at her for council as to their next move. She gave them all duties, though the Commander didn’t seemed very pleased to be sent to gather resources from the Hinterlands. She didn’t trust him yet. He may seem innocuous but she could just never trust a Templar. 

 

...

 

After the war room meeting, she tried to slip back to her room undetected for some more, and very much needed sleep but was caught by Varric on her way by.

 

“Now that Cassandra is out of earshot, how are you holding up?” 

 

Evelyn liked Varric- he was always nice to her. Not to mention funny- which was a huge plus on his side. Cassandra was tolerable now that she wasn’t hounding Evelyn as much. Solas was, well, Solas. He had a lot to say about almost everything and strict opinions about it all. But Varric was always jovial and made her laugh. During their Hinterlands tour he would sometimes sit next to her by the fireside and tell her stories about his misadventures with the Champion of Kirkwall and friends. He always put her in a better mood- which was exactly what she could use right now.

 

She sat down on the bench next to him and warmed her hands in the fire they were sharing with a handful of soldiers. 

 

“I’m fine- it’s just all a little much. Suddenly I’m the Herald of Andraste and people are watching my every move. It’s just all a little… unnerving.”

 

“I know what you mean,” he responded chuckling to himself. “How are things with the councilors?” 

 

“Well, Cassandra’s not all that bad, once she’s on your team,” Varric seemed to think that funny, slapping his knee with mirth. “Leliana scares me a little, like she knows much more about you than you know about yourself.”

“I have a feeling she does,” Varric interjected.

 

“Josephine seems really nice. But, the Templar…” She trailed off, looking worried. 

 

“Who- Cullen? He’s not nearly as scary as Cassandra, or even Leliana. You should try to talk to him. He is an ex-Templar, by the way. He left the order after what happened in Kirkwall.” Varric stared into the camp fire, his look suddenly far away.

 

Evelyn seemed taken aback by that. Ex-Templar? Could they even do that? “I thought they were part of the order for life?”

 

“Well, with what’s happening all across Thedas with Templars and mages, stranger things have happened.” Varric gave her an encouraging smile. “I’ll let you get back to things.”

 

“Thanks Varric.”

 

Evelyn wandered back to her room, thinking on what Varric had said. Maybe she should try to give him a chance. It only seemed fair since he was giving her one. 

 

...

 

Cullen sighed and looked up from the giant mound of paperwork on his desk. He had been working so long that day his vision was starting to double. He poured himself a glass of wine and sat back for a short reprieve. The candle on his desk was running low, which meant it must be near midnight. His head hurt badly and his stomach was troubling him. His dinner was still sitting on the corner of the desk, untouched. He picked at it peckishly and finally gave up to pour himself another glass of wine. The wine barely affected him anymore but to dull his head and the ache he felt deep inside for something else. Even just thinking about the lyrium would make his veins sing and throb. He kept his old box of it in his bottom drawer. It would be so easy to just take a little- no one would know but him… He drained the remainder of his glass and got up. The air outside his tent was cold and biting. Perfect. He decided to walk along the walls of Haven in his own well-worn tracks to clear his head. The troops were doing as well as could be expected in the time allotted for training. The fact of the matter was that they didn’t know what they were up against or when they would have to fight. There was a lingering uneasiness in the air which made the soldiers work harder and faster than he would have expected. He suspected that feeling would dissipate as time went on. 

 

His thoughts drifted to the council meeting from that morning. Why did he feel so awkward around the Herald? Was it because she was lauded as the voice of the maker himself? Was it because she was a mage?  _ Was it because she was beautiful? _ A voice in his head asked. He frowned at that thought. 

 

He thought back to their first council meeting. It was the first time he had ever seen her awake and she held herself with poise, though from the slight slump in her shoulders he could tell she was overwhelmed in the face of the Inquisition. Her green eyes were bright and intelligent looking. She looked like she had seen better days- her cheeks were gaunt and her robes too large for her small frame. Her hair, which had been a tangle of brown locks before, were cleaned and braided into a single long plait draped over her shoulder. Yes, she was beautiful, but so were many other women he interacted with on a daily basis. There was something else about her but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.


	6. Chapter 6

Evelyn awoke with a start in her bed at Haven. She was dreaming of giant spiders and the eerie green glow that she still wasn’t used to seeing on her hand. She tried to go back to sleep, but it was evading her. She grumbled as she dressed into her robes and splashed her face with cold water from a basin by her bed. She plucked an apple from her stores and set out to find a nice vantage to watch the sun rise. She sat down on the wall near her door, chewing her apple thoughtfully. Things seemed so different now. She could almost say Varric and Cassandra were friends, at least the closest she’s had since the mage rebellion. She could see the Commander was just getting to his post outside the gates, greeting Cassandra, then lining up his new charges. He looked up then to see her perched on the wall, watching him. She realized how she must look and tried to will herself invisible. She was a mage, she could always fade step her way out of here. But no, he had already seen her, so she gave an awkward half wave to him. Her half eaten apple flew out of her hand and into the dirt on the other side of the wall. Damn, she wasn’t done with that. She looked back up and she could swear she saw the hint of a smile on his lips before she ducked back down the ladder to find a new breakfast. 

 

After breakfast she visited with Varric, avoided Solas, and found herself wandering around the outside of the gate. Clashing swords and bashing shields met her. She saw the Commander giving orders to the new recruits and Cassandra beating the stuffing out of a straw dummy. She bee lined it over to Cassandra to talk a little. They had made some small talk on their adventures in the Hinterlands, but had never really gotten a good chance to talk with her alone. They talked about her family, why she joined the Inquisition, and what she was hoping to accomplish. 

 

After exhausting her time, Cassandra implied that Evelyn must have more important things to do. _Oh please keep talking to me,_ she thought, _I don’t want to talk to the Templar_ _._ After lingering for a moment she made up her mind. It was now or never. _Just talk to him_ , Varric said. She mentally stuck her tongue out at Varric before steeling herself and turning in his direction. 

 

The Commander was speaking with an advisor, “You there! There’s a shield in your hand. Block with it. If this man were your enemy, you would be dead.” He turned back around and spoke with his lieutenant at his side.

 

Varric’s advice rang in her mind. She cautiously walked up to him, clearing her throat. He looked up, taken aback by her standing in front of him. He recovered quickly, folding his arms over his chest.

 

“We’ve received a number of recruits- locals from Haven and some pilgrims. None made  _ quite _ the entrance you did,” his lips, slightly upturned in a small smile. 

 

“At least I got everyone’s attention,” she parroted his smile back at him.

 

“That you did,” he replied widening his smile.

 

Evelyn was also surprised by what he said. Was he _flirting_ with her?

 

Cullen started to walk and talk, “I was recruited to the Inquisition in Kirkwall, myself. I was there during the mage uprising- I saw firsthand the devastation it caused. Cassandra sought a solution.”

 

“Ser,” a messenger was following them with a clipboard.

 

Without even missing a beat in the conversation, the Commander glanced at the clipboard and scribbled something, dismissing the man.

 

“When she offered me a position, I left the Templars to join her cause. Now it seems we face something far worse.”

 

So he truly was no longer a Templar. Evelyn still wasn’t sold on the Commander but Varric seemed to have been right. He was a nice enough man even if he was a glorified drill sergeant. There was no reason for her to be unpleasant with him, maybe she could even be her mage-y self. 

 

“The Conclave destroyed, a giant hole in the sky- things aren’t looking so good,” she quipped. 

 

“Which is why we’re needed. The Chantry lost control of both Templars and mages. Now they argue over a new Divine while the Breach remains. The Inquisition could act when the Chantry cannot. Our followers would be part of that. There’s so much we can-,” he shook his head. “Forgive me. I doubt you came here for a lecture.”

 

Evelyn hadn’t, but he did make a good point. His outlook was optimistic, more so than many of her advisors. “No, but if you have one prepared, I’d love to hear it.” She playfully quirked an eyebrow at him.

 

He chuckled. “Another time perhaps.”

 

She flashed an innocent smile at him, jokingly.

 

He stared at her for a second, seemingly now realizing they were flirting. “I, ah…,” he stammered, clearing his throat, but smiling back at her all the same.

 

“Commander! Ser Rylen has a report on our supply lines,” another messenger interjected, walking up to them.

 

“As I was saying,” he replied to her with a smirk and strutted off.

 

Uh oh. Oh no. Oh no. He was adorable. The last person she would ever find attractive, a Templar- well EX Templar, was absolutely and totally dreamy.


	7. Chapter 7

There was a stir at the Chantry gates as Evelyn drew near. A mage and Templar seemed to be arguing in the midst of the crowd. Evelyn wanted to step in but she had grown weary of all the fighting between the two. She guessed she should do something since she held a position of some sort of power, but just as she was about to interject the Commander stepped in.

 

“Enough!” 

 

“Knight Commander!” The Templar almost reverently replied.

 

“That is not my title. We are _not_ Templars any longer. We are _all_  part of the inquisition!”

 

Was it just her, or did he look, like, really attractive right now? No, no, no she can’t think about that- not right now. But maybe later. She banished the thought from her mind as Chancellor Rodderick, of course, showed up. 

 

“And what does that mean exactly?”

 

“Back already, Chancellor? Haven’t you done enough?”

 

Chancellor Rodderick swept his arm across the crowd. “I’m curious, Commander, as to how your Inquisition and it’s ‘Herald’,” he pointedly looked at her, “will restore order as you’ve promised.”

 

“Of course you are,” the Commander spat. “Back to your duties, all of you,” he said to the crowd. “Mages and Templars were already at war. Now they’re blaming each other for the Divine’s death.”

 

Rodderick folded his arms behind his back. “Which is why we require a _proper_ _,_ ” he pointedly looked at her again, “authority to guide them back to order.”

 

The two of the bickered for some time before she couldn’t stand it any longer and walked into the chantry. The Commander seemed to be on her side though, well, at least the side of the Inquisition, if they were one and the same. She still wondered though, maybe Varric was right, maybe he wasn’t one of the bad ones. 

 

After her meeting at the war table, all of her councilors agreed that she needed to take her party to Val Royeaux to either suppress Chantry slander or gain the Templars- as unsavory as it sounded. 

“Having the Herald address the clerics is not a terrible idea,” Josephine stated.

 

“You can’t be serious,” Cullen argued, stalking around the room. He seemed as uncomfortable with this opinion as she did. 

 

“And we should ignore the danger to the Herald,” Leliana retorted. 

 

“Let’s ask her,” Josephine said, seeming to be the only one to even notice Evelyn in the room.

 

She was taken aback for a second before replying, “This seems like a terrible plan.”

 

“I agree,” the Commander said, vehemently. 

 

Evelyn was unsure why the Commander was so against this. Did he think she would do badly and condemn them all in the eyes of the Chantry?

 

“I will go with her,” Cassandra stated, backing her into a corner. Now it seemed she couldn’t get out of it. Leliana and the Commander seemed to have reservations about this mission, but Cassandra stood tall, assuring everyone this was the best decision. 

 

Evelyn huffed. Well, it looks like they are going to Val Royeaux. 

 

...

 

Evelyn returned days later from Val Royeaux with no Templars (thank the Maker), no chantry support, and one very loud, very confusing elven rogue named Sara. Oh, and also another icy circle mage who seemed really into politics. Evelyn hated politics. But all were welcome to the Inquisition, apparently. She was feeling a lot more confident in her role as the decision maker now. And it seemed that every time she returned with new Inquisition members. She had a ridiculous image of herself coming back from Val Royeaux, kicking open the gate doors with her boot, Vivienne and Sara under each arm just to announce her arrival. She imagined herself dropping their bodies in a heap on the steps of Haven and taking a bow to the cheering crowd, who were, of course, throwing flowers at her feet. She giggled to herself because she liked to think she was pretty funny. At least in her head. She doubted such flawless execution in reality.

 

She was beginning to feel like she belonged more and more- even though she spent only a few days at a time in Haven. It felt like home to her. Even the people were warmer with her. It was so different to the way it was for her in the circle- at least here she was allowed to come and go as she pleased. She felt like she belonged here, more so than she ever felt in the circle. People greeted her warmly, asked her opinion and actually valued her. Not just as the Herald, but as a person. 

 

“Herald,” a woman bowed to her as their procession made its way to the stables. 

 

Evelyn smiled to her and waved. She could get used to this. Maybe she could ask someone to do her paperwork, or give her a back rub. Yes she could definitely get used to this. 

 

The sun was setting beautifully, casting a pinkish hue on Haven. She wearily walked up the steps toward the tavern. She could use a warm meal and headed for the tavern. They didn’t serve the best food, but it would be the only place with food this late. She ordered some stew and brought it back to her quarters.

 

While she ate, she thought about how much she was beginning to like her companions- even the new ones. Cassandra had a tough exterior with a soft and squishy interior, Varric was always good for a laugh and gave great (and also terrible) advice, Solas, well, he was Solas but his knowledge of lore was always interesting, Sara seemed like she would be really fun, and Vivienne was really kick-ass with that freezing move at the party. Liliana and Josephine were really supportive and helped her in all of her decisions. 

 

The Commander…. Well… of everyone she knew the least about him. It didn’t help that she avoided him for so long. If they could give her a chance even though she looked extremely guilty at the beginning, she should be able to give him a chance. She needed to get over her stupid bias against Templars. If she was going to be the face of this group, she needed to treat everyone equally. She also really needed to get over this whole finding-him-attractive thing she kept doing. Yes, he was objectively handsome in an “I was carved from marble” type way. They had to work together on top of all the other reasons it was a bad idea. She thought about that little smirk he gave her when they first talked and how adorable it was. She thought about that scar on his lip and how his beard would feel if she kissed him….  _ Nope nope nope this needs to stop now _ . She needed to get some fresh air. 

 

She grabbed a stack of blankets and headed to her favorite spot on the wall around Haven. It looked over the trees of a nearby forest. You could see the glimmer of moonlight off the frozen lake. Evelyn was not fond of the cold. She wrapped herself in a few blankets and sat in the quiet. It felt so calm and peaceful out here that all other lines of thought stopped. Its like her mind could match the stillness of the night. Just 10 minutes she told herself. 

 

...

 

Cullen was walking along a now familiar path, worn down by his previous footfalls. His nighttime strolls to clear his head were becoming more frequent now that he was no longer taking lyrium. The nightmares had returned, making it hard for him to sleep. So instead he worked and walked. His favorite path was to walk the outermost wall of Haven. It was so tranquil. The hoot of an owl, the scurry of some small creature. It almost made him forget about the war he was fighting, not just physically, but mentally as well. He stopped for a minute just to breathe in the fresh air. He heard a faint rumble coming from the wall to his right. He spied a large, dark shape at the top of the wall. Thinking it was some sort of animal, he traveled to the nearest ladder a few feet away and climbed. 

 

There was a figure in a heap, definitely human, laying on the wall of Haven. He approached cautiously, not knowing what to expect. The closer he got though, the more unmistakable the sound was- snoring. Someone was sleeping there, in a pile of blankets from the looks of it. He stepped closer and poked at the blankets with a finger.

 

“Nguuuugh,” was the response. 

 

Wait a second, he knew that voice. Cullen lifted a corner of the blankets to reveal the Herald, quite soundly asleep. When her face was exposed to the moonlight one of her eyes cracked open.

 

“Ugh, close the door. I’m trying to sleep here,” she grumbled and rolled over, covering herself in more blankets. 

 

“Um, Lady Herald? Do you know you’re asleep on the wall? Outside?”

 

“Yes, yes, yes,” she replied sleepily, waving her hand at him. 

 

“But… why?”

 

“The unicorns dared me to,” she said, very matter-of-factly. 

 

Cullen had to stifle a snicker. Well, he couldn’t just leave her here. She would freeze to death in this cold weather. She also, very obviously, wasn’t planning on waking up either. She seemed to be in a perpetual state of unconsciousness when they were alone. He gently picked her up, trying not to wake her. He returned her to her quarters, making sure to tuck her in, and shut the door when he left. 

 

“Unicorns,” He chuckled as he walked back down to his tent.


	8. Chapter 8

Evelyn returned from the Fallow Mire covered in head to toe grime. Not only was the place a swamp, it was a zombie infested swamp. She shuddered to herself. First she needed a bath. Then she needed a second bath. A third bath might also be in order. She had been on the road for a week just to get back to Haven and she still felt like she was damp. Damp and shivering. Lyra, one of the elven helpers of Haven, saw to it she got a nice, hot bath. She didn’t think there was anything in the world better than a hot bath when you are cold and damp. 

 

She finally pooled her strength enough to get out of the water and towelled herself dry. She put on some warm leggings and tunic and left her hair wrapped in a towel. There was no way she would walk outside with wet hair in this cold weather. She wasn’t feeling great either. She had Lyra bring her some stew and  ate it in her nice, plush bed. She forgot how nice beds felt. Especially since the last few camps they slept in were on cold, wet, smelly ground. 

 

After sleeping a few hours Evelyn woke with a start. She was drenched in a cold sweat. She had been dreaming about the conclave and Corypheus. She layed in bed for a few minutes before realizing it was pointless to try to go back to sleep. She grabbed her blankets and headed to her favorite night-time spot. 

 

The wall was especially cold  tonight, but the trees were beautiful and silent. The trees didn’t expect anything of her. They were Haven’s sentries; comforting yet aloof. She heard an owl hoot. She heard rustling in the snow. There was the occasional patter of footsteps from in the village. A cold wind whipped up and she wrapped her blankets tighter around her. She felt a sneeze coming on and sneezed very suddenly and loudly. 

 

“What in the Maker- you nearly scared me half to death!” Came a voice from very near her. 

 

Evelyn peered over the wall at a grumpy looking Commander and giggled.

 

“You know you should probably go inside. You sound like you’re coming down with something.”

 

“Why don’t you come up here and make me.”

 

She didn’t hear a response and she started to feel like she might have said something wrong, when the ladder a few feet downwind started to tremble. She grinned and snuggled a little further into her blankets. 

 

“Why in the world you like to come up here in the middle of the night is beyond me,” he said, sitting down next to her. He let his feet dangle off the edge of the wall and very slightly kicked them back and forth. 

 

“I like to come up here, I’m assuming, for the same reason you are prowling around the outskirts of Haven. It’s calm and peaceful and a reprieve from an otherwise stressful and taxing day. That is, unless I caught you making your way to some midnight tryst.”  

 

The Commander sputtered, “What? No- I would never-”

 

“Relax- I’m just joking around with you,” Evelyn laughed, putting a hand on his arm. “Besides, why waste such a perfectly good night on romance when you can spend it with the Herald of Andraste,” Evelyn boasted, arching her eyebrow and smirking. 

 

Now it was the Commander’s turn to start laughing, “You’re right. Why waste such a rare opportunity.”

 

“Look at you, Commander! You just made a joke! I didn’t think you had it in you.”

 

“I have been known to enjoy a good joke now and again,” He chuckled.

 

“Don’t worry- your secret is safe with me,” Evelyn responded with a wink. 

 

They fell into a companionable silence while they gazed at the woods beyond the wall. The moon was half full so the light was dim and soft. Evelyn felt her eyelids getting heavy.

 

“Cullen,” said the Commander.

 

“Huh?” Evelyn started at the sound of his voice.

 

“Call me Cullen. You called me Commander earlier. I think we are on less formal terms than that.”

 

“Alright, Cullen,” she said, “but only if you call me Evelyn.”

 

“Deal,” he said and held out his hand. 

 

Evelyn shook his hand and gasped. “You’re so cold! Why aren’t you wearing your gloves?”

 

“Oh, I forgot to put them on when I left. Walking around the wall warms me- I wasn’t planning on sitting for so long.”

 

“You should have said something,” Evelyn chided. “Get in here,” She said, draping part of her blankets around him. “There’s plenty of room for two.”

 

“What? No- those are yours. I am fine-” Cullen stammered.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. Get in the blankets with me. I will not take no as an answer.” 

 

She folded him easily and expertly into her blanket cocoon. They sat very closely side to side and Evelyn was very aware of how close his body was to hers. Cullen’s armor was cold, but it slowly started to warm up more and more. It became quite toasty in their little blanket nest. Evelyn was getting sleepy again. The more tired she felt, the less she cared that she was sharing a blanket with Cullen. Finally, she could resist it no longer and leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. 

 

“Evelyn.”

 

“mmmmmm”

 

“I think it might be a good idea to get you back to your quarters.”

 

“mmmmmmm”

 

“Evelyn”

 

“Carry me.”

 

“Really? Alright, then.”

 

“No no no,” She sleepily laughed. “I’m just being lazy. I can walk. Just give me a minute to work up the courage to face the cold.”

 

“Well it wouldn’t be the first time I carried you to your room from this wall.”

 

“What? That was you that night? I thought I had sleep-walked my way back to my room all by myself. Well thank you for not letting your fearless leader freeze to death in the cold,” Evelyn said, reluctantly standing up. She had to carry the blankets around her shoulders so they didn’t drag on the ground so her legs immediately felt the bitter chill of the wind. She shivered and sneezed again.

 

“You might have been out here a little too long by the sounds of it,” Cullen stated, looking her over with concern.

 

“I doubt it was the cold here so much as the swamp in the Fallow Mire. Please PLEASE never make me go back to that blasted place again. It was awful, Cullen, just awful.”

 

Cullen chuckled, “You know I can’t make the women of the War Room do anything. You are on your own in that regard.”

 

Evelyn mock pouted and walked down the stairs toward her little house. Cullen walked next to her. 

 

“You can go back to your walk. You don’t have to walk me home. I think I can find it myself,” She quipped. 

 

“What do you think Leliana would do to me if I let something happen to our, what did you call it?, ‘fearless leader’?”

 

“Ooooh yeah it wouldn’t be good. You would probably never be seen again because I am ‘so valuable,’ not to mention attractive, well mannered, and generally awesome in every regard.”

 

“You forgot to add modest to that list I think.”

 

“Oh yeah! I am also very modest. I am the most modest person of all time, perhaps.”

 

“I think you’ve been hanging around Varric too much.”

 

They both laughed and soon enough she was at her door. 

 

Evelyn turned to Cullen and said, “I actually really enjoyed this.”

 

“Me too. We should do it again some time.”

 

“Yeah, ok. That sounds good,” Evelyn said with a big smile. 

 

Cullen returned her smile. His nose was slightly red from the cold wind on the wall. Evelyn noticed how handsome he looked when he smiled. It was a lopsided, boyish smile that tugged on the scar on his lip. She made a mental note to ask him how he got it one of these days. She also noticed that she had now been staring at his lips for longer than a few seconds. She could feel herself blush.

 

“Oh, um, well I’m going to head in now.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight,” Cullen stammered, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. 

 

“Goodnight Cullen,” Evelyn said, and walked into her room. 

 

She slumped onto her bed, mentally berating herself. “What is wrong with you? That was so awkward,” she sighed. “Maybe he didn’t notice,” she flopped over and sighed.

 

“Friends. We will be good friends,” she told herself as she fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Evelyn felt awful. Awful enough to not get out of bed and possibly never get out of bed again. She was simultaneously hot and shivering. Uh oh. She did catch something in that damned swamp. She napped fitfully until there was a knock at her door. 

 

Cassandra was at the door, looking all healthy and not sick. She winced at the sight of Evelyn.

 

“You are late for the meeting this morning. Are you feeling well? You do not look like you are feeling well.”

 

“Thanks, Cassandra. That is wonderful for my self esteem. As a matter of fact I feel like I was trampled by a horse AND cart and left for dead.”

 

Cassandra took a step back just in time for Evelyn to turn her head and sneeze. 

 

“I believe mother Giselle has business elsewhere so I will get Adan,” she said and stalked away.

 

“I’m fine! I can just sleep it off!” Evelyn yelled after Cassandra, but her voice wasn’t working properly so it came out as a hoarse whisper. 

 

Evelyn slumped back to her bed. She must have fallen asleep because she came to with Adan kneeling beside her and feeling her head. He peered at her eyes and felt the pulse in her neck.

 

“Yep. You must have caught a chill. I will make you a draught that will ease the symptoms but it looks like you’re going to have to ride this one out.”

 

She came to again a little while later when Adan was telling her to “open up” and “drink this.” She did so even though the taste was less than palatable. Seems that someone had stoked her fire and left a bowl of soup on the table near her bed. 

 

“If you want to feel better faster, you’re going to need to eat something. I will leave you to it,” He said, leaving her alone. 

 

She was still so cold but was feeling a little more awake now. She hadn’t eaten all day so she knew she should be hungry but she wasn’t. She tried to eat some of the soup left for her, but only managed to take a few sips of the broth. She was feeling slightly better after the soup and Adan’s draught. She wrapped her blankets around her shoulders and dragged herself to a chair near the fire. The warmth from the fire felt so good on her skin, despite the fact she was already sweating. 

 

Her door swung open again and a blast of cold air swept through her cabin. She pulled her blankets closer around her. Two people brought in another bed and placed it in the middle of the room. Before she could ask what was going on Adan walked in with Cullen. Cullen looked worse than she felt. His eyes were glassy and his face flushed. He was shivering from head to toe despite being in his usual full armor get-up. 

 

“Looks like someone else has a chill too. We are putting you two together to help prevent the spread of this thing. In my experience, keeping you two away from everyone else should help contain it. Don’t worry, you will be fine. We have duties to perform and we can’t afford everyone getting sick,” with that Adan turned and left abruptly. 

 

“Oh no Cullen! I got you sick! I’m so sorry,” Evelyn said getting up to stand next to him.

 

“Dd-don’t worrrrry. I’ll bbb-be fine,” Cullen said through chattering teeth. 

 

“Here, lets get you in bed. You look awful,” Evelyn said, steering Cullen towards the new bed in the room. 

 

He sat on the edge of the bed and stared into the distance. His eyes looked miles away.

 

“Let's get you out of that armor so you can get some rest, huh?”

 

Cullen made no move to take his armor off. Evelyn sighed and tried her best to get the armor off. The mantle was easy. The chestplate and greaves proved more difficult. Finally she slipped off his boots and placed them all on the dresser. Cullen had closed his eyes and seemed to be asleep sitting up. Evelyn gently pressed him down so his head was on the pillow, brought his legs up, and pulled the blankets over him. The effort made her feel dizzy and light headed. She went to lay down for a minute but fell right asleep. 

 

...

 

Cullen awoke in the middle of the night. He barely remembered how he got there. He remembered not feeling well and Adan telling him he would put him in a real bed to get better. It was hard to tell where he was. There was a fire that was only embers in the hearth. Cullen sat up, instantly regretting it. His head felt awful and sitting up made it worse. The room was cold. He needed to stoke the fire and bring some light in so he could see where he was.

 

Cullen very gingerly stood up, using the headboard to balance him. He slowly made his way to the fireplace, added a few logs, and stoked the fire back to life. From the chair next to the fire he surveyed his surroundings. There was another bed against the wall opposite him. It looked like someone was in it asleep. He also saw a bowl of soup sitting on the dresser next to his armor. He hobbled over to the soup. There was a note next to it saying, “eat me if you want to live.” If he was feeling better he would have laughed, but he was in no mood. He ate the whole bowl of cold soup. He couldn’t taste it but having an appetite was a good sign. 

 

Cullen felt slightly better. He remembered Adan giving him something awful to drink and telling him it would make him better much faster than normal. If he already felt like eating and could get up and walk around, that meant he would probably feel much better in the morning. Which was good since he couldn’t be taking days off. The troops were in a sorry state and he needed to oversee as much of their training as possible. 

 

Cullen summoned his strength and got up. Walking around would help. He walked around as quietly as possible so as not to wake the other sleeper. When he got close to the other bed he heard something funny. He stopped walking and got closer to the bed. Even with the renewed fire, he could barely see the face in the dark. Evelyn. And she was shivering. The fire hadn’t warmed this side of the room yet. He remembered seeing a folded blanket on a chest of drawers. He grabbed it and gently placed it over her. Evelyn stopped shivering. 

 

Cullen started to feel the effects of walking around too much. He was already slightly out of breath and his headache was starting to form again. He walked back over to his bed and promptly fell asleep. 

 

...

 

Evelyn awoke to a noise. She wasn’t sure what the noise was. The fire had been stoked within the last few hours. It also looked like someone had put another blanket on her while she was sleeping. Cullen lay in bed asleep still. Evelyn sat up and waited for the spots in front of her eyes to fade. She ate the rest of the cold soup sitting on her night stand. The noise happened again. She looked over at Cullen. She got out of bed slowly and stood next to his bed. 

 

Cullen was tangled in the sheets. His forehead was glistening with sweat. He was sleeping very fitfully and made a groaning noise. Evelyn thought it sounded like a very sad noise. She sat on the bed next to him and touched his forehead. He had a fever still. She walked over to her water basin and dunked a small hand towel into the cold water. She rung it out and folded it into a rectangle. She place the towel on Cullen’s forehead and sat on the bed beside him again. This small thing seemed to help and his face became more peaceful. 

 

As soon as Evelyn stood up, Cullen started to shiver.  _ Great, you just made it worse,  _ she thought to herself. She went to the fire to put on a few more logs. The fire grew bigger and it’s warmth radiated through the little cottage. Cullen was still shivering though. She grabbed her extra blanket and put it on him. The shivering continued on. 

 

Evelyn sighed. She knew from many nights in the wilderness before Haven that two bodies were always warmer than one. She also knew that she was going to get cold with only one blanket and that there was no helping it. She got herself under the blankets with Cullen. It was a tight fit but if she curled up against him it was quite comfortable. Cullen stopped shivering and became still and calm again. She felt herself drifting off to sleep.

 

Evelyn woke up many hours later with the sun shining through her windows. She was incredibly cozy and warm. She felt great too. She remembered being sick and feeling bad, but now she felt wonderful- almost like she had never been ill. Wait, was there an arm on her? She opened her eyes and yes, there was a large arm wrapped around her waist. She was pressed against someone and she was definitely the little spoon. The events before she fell asleep finally came back to her. She was being spooned… by Cullen. 

 

She gently tried to extricate herself from his arms. Cullen tightened his grip and pulled her closer to his chest. A very small and decidedly non-intimidating squeak escaped her lips. 

 

She felt something hard pressed against her butt. She was sure she had taken off all of his armor. She scooched her bottom back a little more to see if she could determine what it was without waking him. She realized exactly what it was when it was already too late. Cullen responded in his sleep by pressing his hips forward. He made a very soft, breathy moan directly into her ear. Evelyn was suddenly and uncomfortably aroused. 

 

_ Well I can’t escape. And I definitely can’t wake him up now, _ she decided. She then made a well thought out and expert plan. Months of training and war room meetings had lead her to this exact moment- just pretend to be asleep and maybe it will all go away on its own. Pure genius. And that is exactly what she did. And it worked. 

 

...

 

Cullen awoke easily and calmly. Which was rare for him. Usually his sleep was restless and fitful. He was warm and well rested. He had a small headache, but that was completely normal for him. He was taking inventory of how his body was doing when he realized he was not alone in bed. He opened his eyes to see a mess of brown braided hair.  _ Hmmmmm _ , he thought. His eyes adjusted to the light and he saw freckled nose and long black lashes resting against cheeks pink with sleep. His arm was wrapped around her waist with her body pressed against his…. Uh oh. This was decidedly ungentlemanly. He moved his hips back. 

 

This movement made Evelyn stir. Cullen flipped over so he was on his back and tried to hide the evidence of his body betraying him.

 

“Well good morning,” she said, her voice husky with sleep. She rolled over to face him and propped her head on her arm. Her hair was messy, cheeks flushed with sleep, and she was wearing an oversized tunic. She looked adorable. She was also making his life really difficult right now. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Oh, um, I feel fine now, thanks,” he managed to get out. He could feel his face flushing and could do nothing to stop it. “How about you?”

 

“I feel fantastic. I don’t know what Adan put in those vials, but they made me feel better than if I hadn’t been sick in the first place,” she said, sitting up in bed. 

 

Cullen followed her lead and did the same. The bed was not very big and he was aware of every single inch of her body touching his. “Yeah I know what you mean,” he said.

 

“Sorry you had to wake up with me here. You were just shivering so bad last night. The fire and extra blankets did nothing. This was the only thing I could think to do to warm you up,” she stated, wrinkling her brows. 

 

“Oh. I slept better last night than I have in months. I don’t know if it was the warmth or… what but thank you.”

 

“Well what else are friends for?” Evelyn smiled at him and his heart skipped a beat. She got up out of bed and stretched. 

 

Cullen was doing everything in his power to look at literally anything else in the room. He decided now was as good a time as any to put his armor back on and head out. By the time he was finished everything was properly back to normal with his body. 

 

Evelyn had rinsed her face and grabbed an apple from a bowl of fruit near her door. “You hungry?” She asked.

 

Cullen nodded and she tossed him the apple. “I think I’m going to eat this on the go,” he said. “I missed a whole days training yesterday. I need to make sure everything went smoothly in my absence.”

 

“I’m sure it did. Just don’t work too hard and make sure to rest often, okay?”

 

“I could say the same to you,” he said. They both knew neither of them were going to follow that advice. “Thanks for… this,” he said motioning his hand generally around the cottage. 

 

“Yeah no problem,” she said. “See you around, Cullen.”

 

“See you around, Evelyn,” he said, exiting the cottage. On the other side of the door he took a minute to breathe in the cold, crisp air. It filled him with determination and he set off for his training grounds. 


	10. Chapter 10

The woods were especially quiet tonight. The quiet rustle of leaves was all he heard other than his own boots crunching in the snow. Cullen followed his path around the perimeter of Haven contemplating his long day. Regrettably, his mind could not stop returning to the Herald. 

 

It had been days since that morning, but he found it hard to get her out of his mind. He had replayed it many times, picking it apart. He told himself it was a bad idea to get too attached to anyone, especially with his track record, but that didn’t stop his mind from returning to the one thing he told it not to. Long cold walks seemed to help.

 

There was suddenly a ping next to his ear as something small was deflected by the armor on his shoulder. Looking atop the wall where the something came from he saw a pile of cloth and two legs dangling over the edge. The Evelyn’s face appeared shortly after the ping, peering down at him.

 

“Oops, sorry Cullen. Didn’t know you were down there.”

 

Great, just what he was trying to escape. Of course she was out here tonight. “Oh, not a problem. Um, what was that?”

 

“You’ll have to come up here to find out,” she said with a grin, her face disappearing from view.

 

Cullen grumbled as he walked toward the same ladder he climbed just the other day when they had their first real conversation. He was trying to get her out of his mind, not have a midnight rendezvous with her. She was covered in the blankets from her bed and when she saw him coming, she fished something out of them. She held her hand out to him, filled with cherries. 

 

“Where did you get those?”

 

“I acquired a merchant from Val Royeaux and she brought me a gift! Would you like one?” She was beaming, as if it was the best present she had ever received.

 

“Oh, I don’t want to take them if-“

 

She cut him off, “What is the point of having something if you can’t share it with a friend?” 

 

“Well-I-uh,” he stammered.

 

She rolled her eyes at him and took his hand, placing a few of the dark red berries in his palm. He eagerly popped one in his mouth to keep himself from having to talk. 

 

“Maker these are good,” he muttered, spitting a seed over the wall. “Oh, now I see what hit me.”

 

She just grinned at him and put another cherry in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. They sat in silence for a few minutes, chewing and launching cherry pits into the snow.

“You traveled some distance to reach Haven. You’re from the circle in Ostwick?” He asked her, breaking their companionable silence.

 

“I was. It’s exciting- being away from that life. Being somewhere new… Maybe that’s selfish given what’s happened,” she looked down at her hands, smudged with cherry juice.

 

“No, it’s… only fair I suppose. We  _ are _ grateful for your assistance.”

 

She laughed, “And I am grateful the Inquisition took me in. If it wasn’t for Cassandra I would probably have been sent to some Val Royeax prison.”

 

“I don’t think anyone here would have let that happen. Especially not to their Herald,” he said, turning and looking at her.

 

She winced at the phrase, “Please, not you too. I feel that if I don’t put a stop to these names they will get worse and worse. Pretty soon people will be calling me the prophet, or the sorcerer. Actually I kinda like that last one. You could start calling me that- it might catch on,” she joked, with a quirk of her lips.

 

Cullen grimaced, “I don’t think I will call you the sorcerer. How about I just stick with Evelyn.”

 

She smiled warmly at him, “Okay.” His stomach flipped just like it did last time she did that. She had her brown hair pulled back into her usual long braid. Her eyes were bright with laughter and he was close enough to her to see the freckles on her nose. Her cold-reddened cheeks were fuller than they had been when she first came to Haven. She had put on some weight which he thought suited her. She looked healthy and sun-kissed. 

 

She fished out another handful of cherries and put them in his hand. His skin felt electric where she touched it. Without a word she opened part of her blankets and folded him into them. He knew better than to say anything so they sat there, side by side, eating cherries. 

 

“What was it like being a templar,” Evelyn asked, breaking the silence. “Why did you join the order?”

 

“I could think of no better calling than to protect those in need. I used to beg the local templars at our chantry to teach me. At first they merely humored me. But I must have shown promise. Or at least the willingness to learn. The knight captain spoke to my parents on my behalf. They agreed to send me for training. I was thirteen when I left home,” he said wistfully. 

 

“Thirteen? That’s still so young,” Evelyn said, matching his tone. 

 

“I wasn’t the youngest there. Some children are promised to the order at infancy. Still, I didn’t take on the full responsibilities until I was eighteen. The order sees you trained and educated first.”

 

“What about your family? Do you miss them?”

 

“Of course. But there were many my age who felt the same. We learned to look out for one another.”

 

“I know what that’s like,” Evelyn said looking into the distance.

 

Cullen looked at her, “How old were you when you went to the circle?”

 

Evelyn looked down at her hands. “I was fourteen when my abilities started to manifest. I hid them as long as I could but, eventually someone noticed,” she sighed. “I was taken to the circle on my fifteenth birthday.”

 

“That must have been hard for you,” Cullen said. She looked so sad. He wanted to comfort her in some way but couldn’t think of one. 

 

“The Trevelyan’s are a noble, pious breed. Many eventually become Templars or work in the Chantry in some way. Having a mage in the family is a smirch on a seemingly perfect house. I was taken away swiftly and unceremoniously in the middle of the night. I wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye to my older brother, Logan. And they never once visited me or wrote to me. ‘Modest in temper, bold in deed.’ They certainly lived up to the family motto.”

 

Without thinking, Cullen wrapped his arm around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. 

 

“I did find friends in the circle. I could almost call them family. We had our moments, but in the end, we would have done anything for each other. And some of them did,” Evelyn confessed. “I have been saved at the expense of a dear friend more than anyone should. Those months between the circle collapsing and the conclave were terrible. And do you want to know the funniest thing about it,” she asked turning to look at him. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Templars were the ones who killed my friends. Templars were the ones who tried to kill me, rape me, or worse. No the funniest part about it is that here I am after all that being comforted by an ex-templar. An ex-templar whom I would trust with my life. An ex-templar who is a good person, who is trying to change the world for the better. I don’t know what kind of cosmic joke this is but it’s a funny one, I’ll admit,” she said with a sarcastic laugh and looking down at her anchored hand. “My life seems to be full of cosmic jokes.”

 

Cullen had been silent throughout this. He started, “Sometimes we are tried in ways that seem horrible and unforgivable at the time. But each horrible thing surpassed makes us stronger. Each unforgivable thing forgiven makes us more compassionate.  I understand that it can be hard to live with the consequences of actions taken in the past, but we have to move past them and learn from them, or else they were for naught.” He glanced at Evelyn, who was watching him, rapt. “These lessons you have learned have made you a better person. A person capable of taking on such a huge challenge,” Cullen took Evelyn’s hand and held it palm up so the mark was visible, “in order to help make the world a better place. I see that in you just as you see that in me.”

 

Evelyn stared at him for a minute with her bright green eyes. In her gaze he saw the anguish replaced with wonder. “Cullen that was beautiful,” she said amazed.

 

“I’ve not exactly had an easy life myself. I had a pretty dark outlook on mages for awhile due to some unfortunate events in my past. There were many times I had those exact thoughts. Luckily, I had some wise friends to help put things into perspective for me. I am glad to be able to pass on their wisdom.”

 

“Maybe that is why I am here with you now. The universe, or the Maker, or whoever made sure our paths would cross. We have so many similarities in our past that it helps us see the good in each other. We help each other heal old wounds,” she said, staring so deep into his eyes, it felt like she could see his soul. 

 

He held her gaze for a few seconds. Their faces were awfully close. Her emerald eyes sparkled in the moonlight. Her eyes reminded him of spring; a warm day spent laying in the grass. He then noticed they were holding hands and had been doing so since his little speech. Evelyn seemed to realize the same thing and they sprung apart like teenagers caught canoodling. 

 

“I guess I should probably head back so I can get some sleep. We leave at dawn tomorrow morning.” Evelyn said, standing up. 

 

Cullen helped her collect her blankets and walked her back to her quarters. She stopped at the door and turned to face him. “Cullen… thank you. I don’t think that is even enough for the gratitude I feel right now. All I know is… I am glad to call you a friend,” she said with a small smile.

 

“You don’t need to thank me. Just knowing I helped you is all the payment I need. Sweet dreams, Evelyn.”

 

Evelyn nodded at him and walked into her cabin. Cullen turned around and walked back to his quarters, contemplating his enlightening night of earnest conversation with Evelyn.  He thought back to his reasoning to take a walk in the first place, then to why he chose the path he did when he knew Evelyn would sometimes sit on the wall there. It seems that despite the fact he told himself he wanted to keep things professional with her, he secretly didn’t want to.


	11. Chapter 11

“You know, my dear, I know a good barber back in Orlais who could work marvels with your… current situation.”

 

“My wot? Nah I don’t need any fancy pants barber. I like to cut it myself, it’s easier innit?”

 

Vivienne sighed, “That’s not the point, that it’s easier. Your hair is one of the first things people notice about you.”

 

Sara squinted at Vivienne, “But you don’t have any!”

 

Evelyn was trying her hardest to laugh quietly so as not to disturb this wonderful conversation.  They were riding their horses through the storm coast. They had just recruited the newest member of the Inquisition- The Iron Bull. She liked him. He was big. He had a huge sword. This could only lead to great things. 

 

The rain was falling freely on them all, drenching everything and everyone to the bone. Scout Harding had pointed to a good camping spot on her map and they were headed that way now. She wanted a fire, warm, dry clothes, and something delicious to eat. Preferably a whole bunch of something delicious to eat that wasn’t their usual dried meats and fruits they were used to eating on the road. 

 

An arrow whizzed right in front of Evelyn’s face, raising the hair on the back of her neck. 

 

“Bandits!” She yelled.

 

Everyone disembarked from their horses quickly and took a fighting stance. Cassandra at the front with her sword and shield raised. Vivienne was right behind her already donned in her signature purple fade armor. Sara was in the back with Evelyn, bow drawn, looking for someone to aim at. Evelyn stood with her staff at the ready. 

 

Sara was the first to see them and fired an expert shot right through a bandit’s shoulder. Cassandra immediately charged their makeshift cover, bashing someone with her shield. Evelyn worked on protecting and healing. She felt the magic pool into her staff before sending off a healing spell at Cassandra who had already sustained several blows. She created a protective shield around herself and Sara. 

 

There were quite a lot of bandits this time. After several minutes of fighting, half a dozen more showed up. Cassandra was tiring, so Evelyn threw a hasten spell at her to keep her from fatigue. Vivienne was also wavering close to fainting due to a few heavy blows. Evelyn drank a quick lyrium potion before sending a healing spell her way. 

 

“I need higher ground, I gonna get on top of those rocks over there,” Sara said, pointing to a close outcrop of boulders. 

 

Evelyn nodded and threw a barrier around Sara for safety. She could feel her own barrier weakening, along with her magic stores. The lyrium potion helped, but her magic was regenerating too slowly to be of much help at the moment. 

 

Evelyn heard the crunch of a boot to her left and swung around, staff held across her chest for protection. A great sword came crashing down straight on her staff, snapping it in half. She turned to flee when she tripped on a slippery rock, landing on her head hard. She was dazed for a second, but came to just in time to roll away from the sword striking the ground right where she had been. He tried the same thing again and she rolled in the other direction, but not fast enough. She felt a searing pain tear through her left side and she cried out.

 

The man was leering at her now. She was in pain and would not be able to roll away fast enough the third time. She looked this man straight in the eyes and prayed that this would not be her last moment. The bandit dropped his sword and a plume of red appeared in his chest where the arrow had landed. He fell over backwards. Evelyn tried to sit up, but the pain in her side was immense and she gave it up with a groan. She could feel her magic slipping away like the blood pooling from her wound. She went dizzy and saw the fuzzy shapes of several people gather around her.

 

...

 

Evelyn came to lying on a bed roll in a tent. Her head was throbbing but the pain didn’t compare to her side. It felt like she had been ripped in half. She moaned in pain as she tried to sit up and managed to prop herself up on one elbow. Vivienne and Cassandra appeared at her side. 

 

“I did the best that I could, my dear, but I’m afraid my healing magic isn’t as good as yours and that was one nasty cut.”

 

“Drink this,” Cassandra said, holding out an elfroot potion. “It will speed your healing up at least until you can finish it yourself.”

 

Evelyn drank the potion in many small sips so as to not move too much or stretch her side in any way. She felt the familiar tingling near the wound that came with elfroot, along with the renewed vigor the drink created. She felt well enough that she could sense her own manna again. It was pooled deep in her belly, like a magical wellspring. She gathered as much as she could muster into her right hand. She lifted her ragged and bloody tunic to reveal an angry red scar about 6 inches long trailing from her side towards her belly button. She gently placed her hand on the offending cut and sharply drew her breath through her teeth. 

 

She could feel the ligaments and muscle that needed knitting and invited them to heal. Some of the tissue was already partially healed and could not be fixed any further. Finally, all of her blood vessels were back in their proper places and her skin smoothed as much as possible. She lifted her hand to see how she did. The scar was much more faint, and only about 4 inches long now. It wasn’t going to heal any more than that.

 

“Well it looks like I will be able to add this scar to the collection,” Evelyn said, collapsing back onto the bed roll.

 

Vivienne and Cassandra exchanged looks.

 

“What? What was that look for? Is Sara okay?”

 

“Yes she is fine,” Cassandra said with a wave of her hand.

 

“That was a really close call, darling. We were worried you wouldn’t make it.”

 

“Which is especially bad when you are the only one who can close rifts,” Evelyn concluded. She sighed. “That would be the worst way for this to end too. ‘Oh the world is doomed because the only person who could fix it was killed by a  _ bandit _ .”

 

“We were worried for personal reasons, but also yes- you are the only one who can close rifts,” Cassandra chided. “You must be more careful with yourself.”

 

Evelyn suddenly felt angry. “It’s not like I wasn’t being careful! It was an accident that I never could have planned for. Everything that could have gone wrong did. There was literally nothing I could have done differently in that situation to make a better outcome,” she ranted. Her anger was dissipating into a deep, bone weariness. She laid back on her bedroll and closed her eyes.

 

She could hear Cassandra and Vivienne get up.

 

“We will leave you to rest,” Cassandra said as they exited her tent.

 

…

 

For the remainder of their journey through the Storm Coast, she felt like she was being babied. Especially in combat. Either Sara or Vivienne would hover around her when they could have fought better on their own. To Evelyn, it was just bad tactics. It made her feel like she wasn’t good enough, which upset her. 

 

At the same time, she understood why they were doing it so she couldn’t even get mad at them. She was an asset the Inquisition couldn’t afford to lose. If she were to die, there would be no one to close the rifts that seemed to be popping up pretty regularly across Thedas.

 

To make matters worse, she kept getting flashbacks to that moment when she thought she was done for. It would play in her mind before she fell asleep and wake her up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. There had been many times where she had been knocked unconscious or fainted from a wound but this one affected her deeply. Maybe it was because she felt so helpless without her staff. 

 

They had made the decision before leaving Haven to check out a lead on a Gray Warden in the Hinterlands. So they made the lengthy detour to pick up Blackwall before wearily heading back to Haven. On her way back, Evelyn thought up the perfect solution to her problem. 


	12. Chapter 12

As it was nearing dusk Cullen told the recruits to go get dinner and meet him back at the training grounds bright and early the next morning. They didn’t have to be told twice and they hurried their way through the gates. He walked over to Harrett to check on the status of a sword he had asked to be smithed. After his conversation, he could hear hoofbeats. He turned around to see the Herald and company riding in. He waited at the stables so he could help them unpack the horses.

 

Cassandra was the first to dismount and greet him. “Cullen,” she said with a nod.

 

“How was it? Any new information?” He asked, helping her take off the saddle bags.

 

She gave her horse an affectionate rub on his neck. “We have a new member of the Inquisition- Blackwall the Gray Warden,” she stated, pointing to him dismounting from his horse. “We also have a lead on some interesting information about the mages. But I will discuss that more in the War Room.”

 

Cullen nodded and thanked her. She walked off as did most of the people who had ridden in with her. Evelyn remained, rifling through her saddle bags with a crease in her brows.

 

“Do you need help with anything?” Cullen asked her.

 

She jumped almost out of her skin and laughed. “I guess that’s only fair payback for the time I scared you with a sneeze,” she teased. “No, I am trying to find some runes… I thought I grabbed them… Aha! Here they are,” she said pulling two small runes and tucking them into the pocket of her robes. “Actually, you are exactly the person I want to see right now,” Evelyn stated, standing up and facing him.

 

“How can I be of assistance?” he asked.

 

“Well, first of all, it’s good to see you! I’ve missed our little midnight talks.”

 

Cullen was taken aback, “Oh uh yeah me too.” The fact of the matter was he did miss their conversations. She was easy to talk to, and funny, and real. He had gotten close to her since becoming colleagues and he really valued her company. He wasn’t going to say this, of course, but he acknowledged the sentiment to himself.

 

“So onto the actual question. Okaaaay… so I may have had a slight ummm ‘close call’ as Cassandra put it,” Evelyn started, wringing her hands. “She said I need to be more careful and there wasn’t much more I could do to be careful and I’ve been thinking about a way to do that and I think I found a solution.”

 

“Alright. What did you come up with?” Cullen said, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Do you think that maybe you could possibly teach me how to use a sword?”

 

“Hmmm… well I couldn’t train you with the rest of the recruits- they are on a tight schedule and you will need more specific training with much less time to do so,” Cullen scratched his chin as he thought. “We could get you familiar with using a sword, but you would by no means be proficient.”

 

“I just want to be able to use it as a backup, if my staff weren’t available, to defend myself.”

 

“I think we could manage that,” he said with a definitive nod.

 

Evelyn’s face lit up, “Really? Oh Cullen- thank you!” She was practically jumping up and down.

 

Cullen laughed, “Ok, alright. When did you want to have these lessons? We are both pretty booked as far as time goes.”

 

“Well, I don’t want to take up all of your free time… But I was hoping we could do one lesson a day while I am in Haven. I usually don’t spend so much time here so any time I can get would be helpful. Are you busy tonight?”

 

Cullen thought about it. She did have a point- she didn’t spend a lot of time in Haven, and what time she was here was spent in meetings. He had an idea, “How about we do the lessons at night, since we both tend to be free then? We can start our first one tonight and see how it goes. That way I can test a few different swords and techniques on you. How does that sound?”

 

“It sounds fantastic is how that sounds,” Evelyn laughed.

 

Cullen chucked, “Alright. I want you to be in your full gear: belts, bottles, books, staff, robes; everything you would normally carry on you if you were out in the field. How about we meet in the training grounds in two hours?”

 

“Do you think we could do it somewhere…. a little more private? I kinda don’t want everyone to see me being terrible at something.”

 

“Fair point. How about down by the lake instead? There is a good spot that’s been cleared.”

 

“Sounds great. I’ll go get ready and meet you soon. Thanks Cullen!”

 

Cullen went to the weapons station to prepare for their lesson. He was actually pretty excited for this.

 

…

 

Two hours later Evelyn made her way down to the lake. She spotted Cullen squatting next to a copse of trees contemplating several swords. Evelyn was almost overcome with how beautiful this spot was. The moon shone off the ice on the lake, the trees had a fine dusting of powdery snow, and the woods were so calm and quiet. It was amazing.

 

Cullen heard her coming and stood to greet her. “I want to start with the incident you were talking about and work our way to the best course of action, sword-wise.”

 

Evelyn nodded, “Ok.”

 

“Cassandra reported what happened, but not the full details. What exactly happened?”

 

Evelyn briefly described what happened. Cullen nodded a few times and considered the story for a minute before responding.

 

“First off, we are going to figure out how to reinforce the middle of your staves so they don’t break again. I can speak with Harrett tomorrow to see if he can make it, or if we need to go to a specialist. Then, we are going to need to outfit you with the correct secondary weapon,” he said, waving to the array of weapons on the blanket near his feet.

 

There were 5 different weapons there. One she could already tell was going to be much too big for her, which she told Cullen.

 

“Ah, the longsword. I figured it would be too heavy, but brought it just in case. I think the axe is out too. You may try it out if you like just to make sure.”

 

“I don’t think I could keep an axe as easily in my belt as a thinner sword,” she said, motioning to her belt full of potions, vials, and pockets.

 

“Hmmm, lets have you try the smaller longsword I brought. It is much lighter than a normal longsword without sacrificing too much length.”

 

Cullen handed her the sword hilt first. She took it in her hands and almost dropped it.

 

“You said this one was lighter? I can’t imagine how heavy the big one is!”

 

Cullen laughed, “Strength comes with time, though I do think this one might still be a little too heavy for you. Lets try the larger dagger next.”

 

Evelyn picked up the dagger. It was about a foot long from hilt to tip and it’s weight felt good in her palm. She lifted her arm up and down while holding it, feeling it move with ease for her.

 

“I see you like that one. It is a good size for your needs, and it is fairly light since it is made from silverite. It is good at armor piercing and close quarter combat. Being smaller allows for quicker draw, which is what it sounds like you need. Lets finally have you try the smallest dagger. This one is usually used in dual dagger wielding since it is small, generally the off hand.”

 

Evelyn picked it up and weighed it in her hand. It was lighter than the other one and a few inches shorter too. It felt too light, she liked the heft of the other dagger better, that one felt more sturdy.

 

“I think I like the other one more. It felt good in my hand, not too heavy, not too light. Just perfect.”

 

“Excellent. That was easy enough. We can get you one made or you can keep that one. You won’t actually be using it for a while so either option would be good.”

 

“I think I’ll just keep this one. I’ve bonded with it,” Evelyn said with a quirk of her lips.

 

Cullen chuckled, “Alright. We will be training with wooden swords for obvious reasons. I brought one for you to work with,” he said, handing her a beat up wooden sword the approximate size and shape of her dagger. “The first thing you need to learn is how to properly draw your weapon. It will be critical in the heat of the moment to draw it easily and effortlessly. The dagger can be held underhand or overhand depending on the situation. For the fastest draw, it would be best to keep it on the opposite hip of the hand holding the knife and draw it overhand.”

 

Cullen handed her a leather sheath. She rearranged a few things on her belt so it fit on her left side, only inches away from the scar that caused this whole issue in the first place.

 

“Great. Now when you pull your sword, you’re going to sweep it across your body like so,” Cullen demonstrated pulling his dagger diagonally across his torso. “You give it a go.”

 

Cullen worked with her for about 15 minutes on drawing her weapon. He would move her hand, change her fingering, lift her elbow. She was finally able to draw it correctly three times in a row.

 

“Great job! You’ve got it,” Cullen said.

 

Evelyn smiled, “That was easy! What’s next?”

 

“You’re going to practice that about 100 more times. You need to be able to draw your weapon instinctively, without thought. You need to be able to draw it in your sleep.”

 

“What? But I have it down already! Why can’t that be enough?” Evelyn whined.

 

“When you were on the ground with that bandit over you, were you scared?”

 

“Well yeah, anyone would be.”

 

“Were you thinking clearly in that moment or was your judgement clouded by fear?”

 

“I guess I wasn’t really thinking.”

 

“Exactly. That’s why this needs to be instinctual. Your body needs to be able to do it when your mind can’t. That is why I drill the recruits so hard every day. Everything they do needs to be without thought because in the heat of hand to hand combat, there is so much going on that thought is nearly impossible.”

 

“I understand what you are saying, but I that doesn’t mean I like it,” Evelyn pouted. “I want to be able to use my sword yesterday.”

 

Cullen laughed, “Patience. You will get there. Just be patient with yourself. Now let's try this some more.”

 

Cullen drilled her for another thirty minutes before Evelyn said she could take it no more. She helped him gather the roll of metal and wooden swords and take it back to the training grounds.

 

“Now I want you to keep that wooden dagger with you while you are here in Haven. Try drawing it at various times and from different positions like laying or sitting down. I know it may seem tedious, but this alone could be the difference between life and death and we very much want to keep you alive,” Cullen said putting a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Yes I know, I’m the only one who can close rifts and save the world, etc etc,” Evelyn said, rolling her eyes.

 

“That, yes, and because we like you. We would all be sad to lose you to an unfortunate accident.”

 

Evelyn’s face lit up with a smile. “You like me! You want to keep me around,” she teased, and poked him in the side.

 

“Of course I like you.” Evelyn’s heard did a little flip in her chest. “We are friends after all. Or was that all talk?” Cullen said with mock offense.

 

“I am almost entirely all talk,” Evelyn giggled.

 

“You are almost entirely insufferable,” he said, with a smile on his lips.

 

“You can’t take it back! You said we are friends.”

 

“Yes and I am beginning to regret it,” he responded with a laugh.

 

Once again, Evelyn was caught off guard with how charming he looked when he smiled. His eyes crinkled in the corners, the smile tugged on the scar on his lip. She was tempted to run her fingers along his stubbled chin, kiss his neck below his ear, hear him moan in her ear like he did in his sleep...

 

Maker, she couldn’t possibly be doing this right now, could she? _Snap out of it!_ she chided herself. _You are acting like a hormonal teenager, not the face of the Inquisition._ She realized she was biting her lip and she told herself to stop it. Cullen was watching her with his head tilted to the side.

 

“Sorry! I got, um, sidetracked,” Evelyn said with a breathy laugh.

 

“I see that. What were you thinking about?”

 

“Oh, uh nothing!” _Definitely not about how much I want to kiss you right now._ “Anyways, same place same time tomorrow?”

 

“Sure,” he answered skeptically.

 

“Great! Sounds just great! I’ll see you then!”

 

Evelyn then powered walked her way out of there, berating herself the whole way. _You have one job to do, and that is to keep your shit together. That was a_ terrible _job of keeping your shit together._ She could barely help run this Inquisition, and was running from one fire to the next. There was no place in all this for romance or relationships. Not that she knew if he even felt the same way about her. Not to mention if it didn’t go well, they would still have to see each other everyday. She knew from personal experience how embarrassing that could be from the circle. No, she wasn’t going to do that again. _Just put him out of your thoughts and concentrate on what needs to be done. Friends, remember? Just friends._


	13. Chapter 13

Her council had her in the War Room most of the next day. They had briefings about what happened during their latest excursion. Cassandra tactfully brought up her near miss. She told them she understood their trepidation, but said she asked the commander to give her weapon lessons to help her defend herself. Cullen stated he would devote time to her everyday she was in Haven to help her hone her skills. This seemed to appease them for now.

 

She met the commander that night for practice. He helped her learn how to switch between underhand and overhand grips. Then taught her a few very basic slashing moves. After about an hour they decided to take a break. Evelyn suggested they walk a short distance to the pier and sit on the edge.

 

“Prior to the conclave, I’d only encountered Templars in the circle. Do they do anything besides guard mages?” Evelyn asked as they walked.

 

“Templars protect against the dangers of magic. Before the Order left the Chantry, that meant serving in a circle. They were also tasked with tracking apostates or fighting demons inevitably summoned by the weak or malicious.” 

 

Cullen sat on the edge of the dock and Evelyn sat next to him. The moonlight on the frozen lake was beautiful tonight. She loved coming back to Haven for this reason- at night everything was so calm and peaceful. On the road they had to sleep with one eye open for bandits (or bears thanks to Cassandra). There were too many people and animals and noises and conversation to ever get a moment of true stillness. 

 

“What do  _ you _ think about… mages? Do you think we are all a threat?” Evelyn asked, not daring to look at Cullen. 

 

Cullen sighed and stared into the distance. “I’ve seen the suffering mages can inflict. I’ve treated mages with distrust because of it- at times without cause. That was unworthy of me. I will try not to do so here,” he said, glancing at her.

 

Evelyn gave him a small smile.

 

“Not that I want mages moving through our base completely unchecked. We need safeguards in place to protect people- including mages- from possession, at the least.”

 

He had very progressive views for an ex-templar. Evelyn didn’t necessarily believe his views were correct, but she did admire that he was trying to change. It was the best possible answer he could have said, given the circumstances. 

 

She wanted to know a little more about his past, so she probed him, “I know how I spent my days in the circle, but what was a typical day for a templar?”

 

Cullen laughed, “ _ Typical. _ The last time I was in a circle was right before it fell apart. Nothing was typical.”

 

“What circle were you stationed at?”

 

“Kirkwall. I was there when the mage rebellion started.”

 

If Evelyn had been drinking something, she would have done a spit-take. She looked at Cullen wide-eyed, “Kirkwall?! You were the Knight-Commander of  _ Kirkwall?! _ ”

 

“Yes I was. Meredith had lost her wits on red lyrium, but it took me too long to realize how far gone she had become. When she tried to use the right of annulment, I had to stand up to her with the Champion and I subsequently took her place.”

 

“You stood up… for the mages?”

 

“Of course. It was the right thing to do. Can we move on, I don’t really like talking about Kirkwall. It was not a pleasant part of my past.”

 

“Oh yes of course,” Evelyn’s mind was reeling. Cullen was the knight Captain who everyone talked about while she was on the lam. She will have to come back to this train of thought later. She thought of a more neutral line of question, “Before that, then. What was a typical day like for you as a templar?”

 

“Certain rituals require a full guard. A mage’s harrowing for instance. I’ve attended a few. Most of the time you merely maintain a presence- on patrol or in the circle. Ready to respond if needed. Mages pretend to ignore that presence but they are watching you just as closely.”

 

“We would spend all day with Templars and yet they rarely spoke to us.”

 

“A habit often mistaken for coldness, I’m sure. But we are expected to keep a certain distance from our charges. If a mage is possessed or uses blood magic, you must act quickly, without hesitation. Your judgement cannot be clouded. Of course, ignoring one another does nothing to foster understanding.”

 

Would she ever stop being surprised and impressed with his ideas and insights? Maker, she hoped not. “What does Templar training involve?”

 

“There is weapon and combat training. Even without their abilities, Templars are among the best warriors in Thedas. Initiates must also memorize portions of the Chant of Light, study history, and improve their mental focus.”

 

“Did you enjoy your training?”

 

Cullen smiled fondly, “I wanted to learn everything. If I was giving my life to this, I would be the best Templar I could.”

 

“So you were a model student?”

 

He chuckled, “I wanted to be. I wasn’t always successful. Watching the candle burn down while reciting the chant of Transfigurations wasn’t the most exciting task. I admit, my mind sometimes wandered.”

 

Evelyn laughed with him. “Do Templars take vows? ‘I swear to the Maker to watch over all the mages’- that sort of thing?”

 

Cullen crossed his arms over his chest. “There’s a vigil first. You’re meant to be at peace during that time, but your life is about to change. When it’s over, you give yourself to a life of service. That’s when you’re given a philter- your first draught of lyrium- and it’s power. As templars, we are not to seek wealth or acknowledgement. Our lives belong to the Maker and the path we have chosen.”

 

“A life of service and sacrifice,” Evelyn pondered. She just thought of a wicked question, and it was taking all her power to not ask it. Alas she was a weak woman. “Are Templars also expected to give up… physical temptations?”

 

It was entirely worth it to see how uncomfortable he got. He turned red from his cheeks all the way up to his ears. 

 

“Physical? Why,” Cullen cleared his throat. “Why would you…” He looked everywhere but at her. He gathered himself and said, “That is not expected. Templars can marry- although there are rules around it, and the Order must grant permission… Some may choose to give it up to prove their devotion, but it is not required.”

 

“Have you?” Evelyn asked before realizing it. Now it was her turn to go pink in the cheeks.

 

“Me? I… um, I’ve taken no such vows,” he stated, rubbing the back of his neck. “Maker’s breath- can we please talk about something else?”

 

Evelyn giggled. “I think I’ve tortured you with enough questions tonight. Do you want to get back to it?”

 

“Please! Anything but this,” he said, exasperated. 

 

He got up and offered her a hand. They walked back to their little clearing.

 

“I’m sorry if I overstepped any boundaries with my inquiries. I can be a bit nosey sometimes.”

 

“It's alright. I wouldn’t have answered if I didn’t want to. Besides, now this means I can ask you all sorts of embarrassing questions.”

 

Evelyn groaned, “I guess I set myself up for that one.”

 

“Another time perhaps. I will pounce when you are least expecting it,” he said with a grin. 

 

That sentence lead her down a pathway in her brain she should be avoiding. She shook her head and cleared her thoughts.

 

They trained for another thirty minutes before deciding to retire for the night. They talked almost entirely about training, trying to steer clear of the more hairy topics. They silently walked up the hill to the outskirts of Haven. 

 

“Thank you for the training today,” Evelyn said at the point they usually parted ways. 

 

“It is not a problem and not wholly unpleasant,” he said with the hint of a smile.

 

A smile ghosted her lips as well. “Well goodnight. I will see you in the morning.”

 

“Goodnight, Evelyn.”

 

Evelyn fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and she slept deeply and dreamlessly.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Cullen was waiting for Evelyn for their nightly training. It would be their last one for a while, since she was set to leave early the next morning. They had argued in the War Room for 2 days now about who she should recruit: the mages or the templars. Cullen, of course, thought the best plan of action was getting the templars. They would be best at suppressing any magic Corypheus would throw at them. They were also much more autonomous- they wouldn’t need to be constantly supervised. The room was split 50/50 so their long debates got them nowhere. Evelyn finally said enough. She would leave tomorrow morning and make up her mind on the road. She had listened to everyone’s arguments dutifully and without bias. He was shocked she didn’t just go and side with the mages since they were her people. But she listened to both sides of the argument, asked questions, and kept her temper, even when others were raising their voices. She was turning into a fantastic leader and he was proud of what she had accomplished so far. She never once complained about her tasks and would even go out of her way to help anyone in need. 

 

He was also beginning to really look forward to their lessons. She was easy to train and took to his lessons the same way she did all of her missions; with grace and strength. She was advancing much faster than he would have guessed. He was already teaching her stances. He thought tonight would be the best night to teach her actual close quarters combat training. He brought himself a wooden sword this time, plus his shield.

 

He was contemplating which move he was going to start with when two very cold hands covered his eyes.

 

“Guess who!” 

 

“I have no clue who this could be. Maybe you could help me though. I am looking for my friend Evleyn for training- have you seen her? About a foot shorter than me, long brown hair, likes to hit people with wooden swords.”

 

She answered with a smack on his arm with the flat end of her wooden sword.

 

“Ow,” Cullen barked, holding his arm and laughing.

 

Evelyn was giggling, her green eyes dancing in the moonlight.. She looked radiant as usual with her dark brown hair pulled back into long braid draped over one shoulder and deep blue robes. 

 

“What’s on the schedule today Commander,” she asked.

 

“I want to teach you some close quarters combat. Ready your weapon and hold the defensive stance I taught you yesterday. Good. Ok I’m going to act like I’m attacking you. In order to do so I will need to be close. You are not used to close combat, but hopefully this will familiarize you with it more before you are faced with an actual foe. I’m going to bring my sword down overhand and I want you to block it.”

 

Evelyn brought her dagger up and held it with two hands to brace against his attack. It was almost right. He walked around her and moved her arm a little higher, adjusted her shoulders and her grip on the haft. They practice that a dozen times and moved on to a few other defensive moves. She was getting the hang of it and he barely had to correct her anymore. They took a short break before moving onto offensive moves. 

 

“You really are doing well. With enough practice, you could be talented at wielding a dagger. I can only teach you so much myself before an expert will be necessary. But I have no doubt you will be able to sufficiently defend yourself during normal combat.”

 

“I’ve had a pretty awesome teacher.” She beamed at him while breathing into her hands. “Ummm… would you mind if I made a little fire to warm myself up a bit,” she asked apprehensively. 

 

“Why would I- go right ahead,” he said without thinking. 

 

Evelyn closed her eyes for a moment and put her palms face up. Slowly, a small flame appeared in each palm growing steadily larger until it was the same size as her palm. He could feel its warmth on his face. He was taken aback at first, completely forgetting for a moment that she was a mage. Then he realized that duh and of course this was what she meant. He had another realization- she wasn’t using her staff. He never saw mages using magic without their staff.

 

“How… how are you doing that without your staff?”

 

She opened her eyes, seemingly having forgotten he was there. She let out a single breathy laugh. “It isn’t easy.” She pondered it for a minute. “Ok so for me, I can feel my mana. It pools and collects deep in my belly. Since I am so attuned to it, I can control it better. I can send it to my hands for more delicate healing, to my feet for a fade step and in this case, through my palms to hold this small fire. Staves are merely focusing instruments. Its like your sword. You could hurt someone with just your fists, but with your sword you can do more damage and wield more power. I can do spellwork longer and more powerfully with my staff, but the mana is in me, not my staff.”

 

Cullen nodded. “I had always had so many questions about that kind of stuff, but we weren’t allowed to talk to the mages much so I never got the chance to ask.”

 

“Come closer- it’s much warmer over here.” She had combined the flames and held one larger flame with cupped hands. The light from the fire danced on her face. “Feel free to ask me any other questions about magic if you like.”

 

“Alright,” he acquiesced, standing in front of her and holding his hands out to the flames. “So do all mages have this ability?”

 

“All mages are different and have different capabilities,” she started. “While most use their staves for all magical work, there are some who can use just their hands. It took a long time and a lot of practice, but I was able to harness this ability. I believe every mage can do it, but some take to it better than others.  Luckily, I was one of those fortunate to have a knack for it. We had an expert at our circle who taught me everything she knew.” Evelyn’s eyes were unfocused, staring at the flame in her hands. “Unfortunately, she did not make it out of the tower when ours fell.”

 

Cullen watched her face in the flames, trying to think of what to say. He settled on the generic, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

Evelyn shrugged. “What’s done is done. I’m sorry I keep getting all weepy around you. I guess being around a Templar again makes me think of my time in the Circle. There were some fun times though- it wasn’t all bad. We would sing and dance and play games and laugh. There is much more joy than sadness in my memories. The sad ones are just the newest ones.”

 

“Sing and dance, huh? The mages in my circles were much more serious than yours I guess.”

 

“So you think. We would wait until the templars made their last rounds for the night, then sneak out to the boys’ sleeping quarters and party it up. The templars had no idea,” Evelyn said with a grin, her normal twinkle back in her eyes. “Some of them played instruments and we would dance. Sometimes someone would sing. Mostly we just wanted some time to be ourselves without having to worry. We were kids after all. We tried to bring back a semblance of normalcy to our lives.”

 

“Did you play an instrument?”

 

“No, but I did sing. My voice wasn’t the prettiest, but it was enjoyable for me. Most of the time, I was just trying to get a cute boy to kiss me,” she said with a nostalgic smile. 

 

“I can understand the sentiment. Templar life wasn’t so different than that as a teenager. I tended more towards my studies, but there were a few girls who could tempt me out of my solitude. I guess the mage and templar backgrounds aren’t so different.”

 

“The only difference is their choice. Templars, in most cases, choose to be there. Mages don’t have a choice. That was the hardest thing for me, not having the choice. I thought I would never get a say in my future. If I wanted to marry, it could have only been someone in our circle. I wouldn’t be able to raise my own children since all children born in the circles are sent to either family or an orphanage. It wasn’t truly living, but we tried to do the best we could with what we had.” Evelyn stared wistfully at the flames in her hands for a moment. “I think I’m warm now- what do you say we get back to it?”


	15. Chapter 15

Evelyn returned exhausted from possibly the most terrifying and emotionally draining mission she had been on. With the mages in tow and her party fatigued, she trudged onto Haven and handed her horse over to Master Dennet. The mages and members of her party trudged past her and wearily into the town. She stopped walking to stare at the beautiful sight of the place she now called home. Evelyn fell to her knees in the snow. She was so overwhelmed by everything that had happened. The future that is not supposed to be. _No, it will_ never _be_ _._ She could never let that happen to her people, to Thedas.

 

Cassandra stopped walking and kneeled down next to her. She tentatively reached out and put a hand on Evelyn’s shoulder. At the touch, Evelyn could feel hot tears streaming down her face. 

 

“I know what you saw in the future had to be traumatic, but it will never happen. It _cannot_ happen. Not with you here. You are the beacon of hope and the people will fight for you, their Herald.”

 

Evelyn didn’t trust herself to talk, so she placed her hand over the other woman’s on her shoulder while letting the silent tears slide down her cheeks.

“You may not see how much you have changed since we first met, but you have become a natural leader- one that I am proud to follow. I will fight by your side until we win- because we _will_  win.”

 

Evelyn turned to look at Cassandra’s face, which was set with cold, hard determination. Their eyes met for a brief second before Cassandra squeezed Evelyn’s shoulder and stood. Cassandra held out her hand and Evelyn took it, hoisted herself up, and wiped her eyes with a gloved hand. They looked at each other again, and with a nod of determination, headed for the Chantry to see what sort of mess she had made. 

 

....

 

After speaking with her councilors (more like having them yell at her), Evelyn needed sleep. She felt bone weary and she could only imagine how bad her under eye circles must be. She could hear the tavern all the way from the chantry. The mages seemed to be celebrating their new and improved conditions. They were evil-magister free now and had free reign of the place. Evelyn hoped she would not be regretting that decision.

 

“Seems you are quite popular around here,” Varric said, from his log near the fire. 

 

Evelyn smiled at her friend, and took a seat next to him, “And why aren’t you joining the celebration?”

 

Varric shrugged his shoulders, “They looked like they could use a good night of fun. Who am I to spoil it? Plus, I plundered some libations of my own.”  At that he reached next to him to bring out a flask. He offered it to her with a sly grin.

 

Evelyn took the flask gratefully and took a swig. She started coughing immediately, “What in the Maker’s name is in this? Are you trying to poison me?” She looked suspiciously in the tiny opening.

 

“Dwarven ale. The barkeeper ordered it specially for me. It’ll put hair, well, more hair in my case, on your chest.”

 

Evelyn giggled and looked at the flask again. With a shrug of her shoulders, she took another swig. She felt the warmth travel down her throat and light a fire in her belly. 

 

“Woah there Sparkles. I think that’s enough for you,” Varric said, reaching over and trying to take the flask from Evelyn. 

 

She giggled, “You aren’t the boss of me.”

 

“No, but you are the boss of me and if you keep going, you won’t be the boss of anyone,” he said, wrestling the object from her hand. Varric tightly screwed the lid back on and put his flask back on his person.

“Well you are just no fun,” Evelyn said, making a pouty face.  

 

“Speaking of no fun, I heard about what happened when you went to recruit the mages,” Varric said, his expression somber.

 

Evelyn just stared into the fire. Cassandra’s otherworldly voice floated back to her, as well as the sacrifices they had all made. Leliana, Blackwall, Sera. They sacrificed their lives so she could get back and make sure that future never happened. Leliana’s poor face, all the torture she must have endured… It was too much. What if she failed? Her path had never seemed as important as it did now.

 

“That was the hardest thing I have ever had to see. I had to leave them and pray that Dorian’s magic spell worked. I felt so… helpless.”

 

Varric must have sensed her grief because he scooted closer and put a hand on her shoulder.

 

They sat there, both staring at the fire and contemplating the life that would have been for what seemed like hours before her butt started to fall asleep and she realized how late it was.

 

“Sorry to be so melancholy, Varric. You are a good friend,” she squeezed his knee and stood up.

 

Once she stood she realized how much of an effect that ale had on her and she almost sat down again. She steeled herself and willed the world to stop spinning and headed off toward her room. 

 

“Make sure you drink plenty of water,” Varric yelled after her. “We don’t want you waking up face down in a ditch like my brother Bartrand,” he chuckled. 

 

She was so grateful to have such good friends, even if they did yell at her sometimes. She smiled to herself and fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

 

…

 

Evelyn was going hard since she got back from recruiting the mages. Cullen had seen her running around Haven constantly; getting  things for the mages to help Cassandra, filling requisitions, and helping her teammates with various things. Cullen watched her flit between Master Dennett and the tavern, to the mage tents, to Leliana. Cullen was exhausted just watching her. 

 

Cullen dismissed his troops for lunch and retired to his tent to sort through some paperwork.

 

He heard someone clear their throat, then a cough, then a voice said, “Uh, Cullen? Can I come in?”

 

Cullen rolled his eyes. It was only a matter of time before she made her way to him. “Come on in then,” he shouted. 

 

“I was trying to figure out how to knock on the door of the tent flap and failing miserably,” she said, striding in. She sat down in the chair across from his station desk, which was a mess of papers, food dishes, and weapons. She looked like she had something on her mind.

 

“The mages are ready to approach the breach. I pray this will be enough to close it.”

 

“Are you mad at me about my alliance with with mages?”

 

“Of course not,” he said, furrowing his brow. He had to admit, he may have yelled at her a little too hard when she told them about the mages. Maybe he was a little mad at her still. He sighed, “I have no intention of endangering your alliance, but I  _ must _ endure the safety of those here. That concern extends to the mages. They are putting themselves at risk for the Inquisition, as are you. Any precautions taken are meant to aid you, nothing more. I hope you will accept them as such.”

 

“I understand your concern. I wish I could have recruited both Templars and mages, but I couldn’t. You said before that we have some Templars that have come to the Inquisition instead of following the order, correct?”

 

“Yes, but there are too few to properly watch the mages. We will need at least a dozen, possibly more. Mages keep trickling in from all over Thedas, not just Redcliff. They must have heard the Inquisition is putting them up and have decided that sounds like a good place to be. It may be good for our numbers in a battle, but for the day to day, it is taxing on our supplies and manpower to watch them.”

Evelyn chewed on her lip while she thought. Finally, she said, “I may have a plan for this. I won’t like it, but I think it will work.”

 

Cullen sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. “What is your plan?”

 

“Well, while I was making my way to Haven for the conclave, we met up with a group of Templars. We were frightened of them at first, but when they didn’t strike, we all put down our weapons and had a little chat. They were from a group of Templars who wanted to end the war just like us. We ended up walking to the conclave together. They told us about the rest of their group, how they were in the Hinterlands, trying to stay out of the fighting. I think I may know where to look for them. I don’t know how many are there, but he hinted that there was at least a dozen left behind.” Her eyes were gleaming with enthusiasm as she went through her idea with him. “What do you think?”

 

Cullen scratched his chin, “I think it could work. If there are as many as you think, it would help the Inquisition a great deal with the current situation. We can send a small troupe of soldiers to go check it out if you show us the area.”

 

Evelyn sighed, “No, I need to do it. I need to be the one to talk to them.”

 

“Are you sure? I will respect your decision if this is the path you choose to take, but would this bring back some bad memories? I don’t want to trigger anything for you of your time after the circles fell.”

 

Evelyn looked at him with… what was that- respect? Admiration? “You know, Cullen, you surprise me more and more. Thank you for thinking about that, but I think this is something I need to do to get that behind me. I think it will be good for me.” She smiled her perfect, dazzling smile at him. The one that made his heart skip a beat. The one that made it hard to breathe sometimes.

 

Cullen swallowed, “As you wish.”

 

“I will tell Leliana of my plans and gather my party to head out. I would like to get this resolved as quickly as possible. Thank you for bringing up your concerns to me. Haven is exactly that- a refuge from the perils of this Elder One. One of my top priorities is that people feel safe here, in their home.”

 

Cullen was in awe of this woman. He wasn’t used to his concerns being addressed, and done so with such a quick decision. “I agree completely. I will make sure to bring any more such concerns to your attention in the future.”

 

“That would be much appreciated, Commander,” she stated, getting up from the chair. 

 

“Safe travels, Evelyn.”

 

She smiled at him in response and left his tent. 

 

Cullen was starting to hold the Herald in the greatest esteem. He was upset that she chose the mages, but she is addressing his issues with it. He thought she would just wave him off, but she actually took his criticism to heart and is planning to fix it. He shouldn’t be surprised though, this is the same woman who walked out of the fade and into her current role. She was doing a fantastic job and he had no doubt that he would follow her straight into the gates of hell if she asked it of him. 

 

…

 

Evelyn came back to Haven a few days later with a group of about 10 Templars. They were hard won to join their cause, but worth it for the safety of her people. As soon as she hobbled her horse she saw Cullen making his way towards the group. Alphonse, the one that seemed to be the leader, spoke with Cullen and the newest members of the Inquisition made their way into Haven. 

 

Cullen smiled at Evelyn when he stepped over to her. She felt herself smile back. It was good to be home, good to see Cullen.

 

“I trust everything went well?” he asked, feigning nonchalance. 

 

Evelyn could tell he was actually worried about her, which made her smile deepen. “It was wonderful Cullen! They didn’t want anything to do with us at first- told us they wanted to stay out of the fighting. I tried to convince them with the merits of the Inquisition, but it wasn’t winning them over. I then started talking about our dashing ex-Templar Commander and they took the bait. They had heard about you and decided to give it a go!”

 

Cullen had gone slightly pink and was rubbing the back of his head with his hand. “They came because of me?” 

 

Evelyn nodded. “They heard about your time in Kirkwall and your subsequent departure. ‘I respected the hell out of that guy,’ one of them said.”

 

Cullen now went pink all the way to his ears. “Really?”

 

Evelyn stepped closer to him and put her hand on his forearm. “Really. You are a pretty awesome guy and you deserve the respect those men feel towards you.”

 

Cullen smiled at her warmly and she stared into his honey colored eyes, feeling lost for a moment. “Thank you. That is high praise coming from the Herald of Andraste.”

 

Evelyn rolled her eyes at him. “See I am trying to have a nice moment with you and you have to go and ruin it like a prat,” she said, stomping her way towards the gates.

 

Cullen laughed and grabbed her elbow, spinning her around into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she froze, unable to move. “Thank you, I really do mean it.”

 

He let her go and now it was her turn to go pink in the cheeks. She tried to will herself to stop it, which only made them worse. “Um, yeah, uh no problem,” she mumbled.

 

Cullen strode off towards his recruits and yelled over his shoulder, “I’ll see you tonight for practice.”

 

Oh yeah, that. Hopefully that will be enough time to get her flush under control and have plenty of time to spare to ask herself why she was the way she was. She grumbled and walked towards her quarters.


	16. Chapter 16

This was Evelyn's fourth day in a row sleeping in Haven. They were preparing everyone for closing the breach, which was hard work. The mages needed time to get their bearings and Cassandra and Cullen worked with them to create a strategy for game day. 

 

She had also been practicing with Cullen everyday. She was getting pretty good at it too. They had gone to sparring most of the lessons with Cullen only fixing small details in her stance, arm positions, fingering, etc. She had never beaten him, of course, but she thought the day would come soon when she would. 

 

She rounded a tree to their normal spot. Cullen was standing there, waiting for her. He looked exhausted.

 

“You doing ok?” she asked him.

 

“Yes I’m fine. I have had a lot on my plate with the new Templars. They are a wonderful addition, don’t get me wrong, but they are taking time to incorporate with the mages. The mages are not too happy about it, but that is the price they must pay for their freedom.”

 

Evelyn nodded, looking very serious. “I know exactly what you need.”

 

“And what is that?”

 

“A drink,” she announced and Cullen snorted. “How about we cut our practice short. Three rounds- if I win one, you buy me a drink, if not then I will buy.”

 

“Oh you are on. You know you will be the one buying drinks tonight, right? You have yet to win against me.”

 

“Ooooh, Cullen! Already trash talking, I see. I like the enthusiasm!”

 

“It’s not trash talk if it’s true.”

 

“We will see about that.”

 

The first round went to Cullen, as did the second. He kept blocking her attacks with his stupid shield and she couldn’t get around it. The first round he had the knife at her throat in almost five minutes. The second round was longer and he “stabbed” her in the stomach after fifteen minutes. He smirked at her infuriatingly.

 

“You haven’t won yet, Templar,” she sneered at him. 

 

Cullen only cocked an eyebrow in response and assumed their starting stance. 

 

Ten minutes through the third round and she already had a close call. He bashed her with his shield with enough force to stun her for a moment. He brought his sword up, but she was too fast and spun out of the way in a classic dodge she used when wielding her staff. Cullen nodded at her in acknowledgement of a good move. She smiled to distract him from a lunge to his side. He jumped back in time to miss it. 

 

He tried to use a shield bash on her again and twirled to the side to miss it, but her foot caught on a rock and she fell over. Cullen loomed over her in a scene reminiscent of the catalyst to these lessons. She had played that incident over and over in her mind enough that she knew exactly what to do. 

 

Cullen smirked and pulled his arm back to deliver a fatal blow. She swung her leg out and caught him in the back of his knee. He let out an “oof” of surprise when he fell backwards. He still held his sword, but his shield had skittered away. She scrambled over to him and straddled him with her dagger going straight for his throat. He was too fast and flipped her over before she could make it. He went for her throat  but she held her sword at his side. It was a stalemate and they both noticed it. Evelyn also noticed that he was panting from exertion on top of her. His knee was between her legs and his left hip pressed into a very delicate area. He was holding himself up with his left arm so that his right arm could hold the sword at her throat.

 

Evelyn seductively slid her right leg up Cullen’s left one and he loosened the grip on his sword with wide eyes. In one fluid motion, she knocked the sword out of his hand with her left elbow, crashed her right elbow into the crook of the arm holding him up, and twisted her leg to help flip him onto his back. She landed straddled on top of him with her dagger held to his throat and his sword a few feet away. 

 

She won and they were both surprised. Cullen was a good sport about it though, “It seems you have won this round.”

 

A cheshire grin spread across Evelyn’s face. “You know what that means,” she purred. She leaned over until their faces were an inch apart. Cullens eyes went wide with surprise again and her grin broadened. She leaned over and whispered in his ear, “You owe me a drink.” She then bounced off of him with a chorus of giggles. 

 

“Woman, I think you may be mad,” he said, sitting up. 

 

She held out a hand to him to help him up and he took it. She nearly toppled over and had to counter his weight by leaning back and digging her heels in. 

 

He chuckled at that. “I didn’t know we were fighting dirty,” Cullen said while dusting off all the snow and dirt from his clothes. 

 

“There is no such thing. There is fighting to win and losing. Besides, you can’t say you didn’t enjoy a good roll in the dirt with me,” she said, wagging her eyebrows at him.

 

Cullen pulled a twig out of her hair. “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Sera.”

 

She grinned at him and helped him collect his shield and sword. 

 

“Shall we,” he asked, extending his elbow to her.

 

She crooked her arm through his with a smile. “Lead the way, serrah.”

 

…

 

When they got to the Singing Maiden, Cullen found them two seats at the bar. He pulled Evelyn’s chair out for her and she sat in it gracefully. 

 

“What would you like,” he asked.

 

She looked at the options behind the bar and chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I’ll take a honey mead,” she answered.

 

Cullen asked Flissa for a honey mead and red wine and she disappeared behind the bar, popping up a few minutes later with their cups. He thanked her and paid with a few coppers. 

 

Cullen turned and looked at the Herald, suddenly shy. What should he say? What should he talk about. Thankfully, she broke the silence first.

 

“Sooo where are you from?”

 

“I grew up in Ferelden, near Honnleath. I was transferred to Kirkwall shortly after the Blight. This is the first I’ve returned in almost ten years”

 

“You haven’t seen Ferelden in ten years? Are you excited to be back?”

 

“I was not sorry to leave at the time. I did not expect to return. Now- between the Divine’s murder and the breach- I’ve arrived to find nothing but chaos.”

 

“Wait- you didn’t expect to return? Did you family move?”

 

“Yes, but not too far,” Cullen sighed. “Being a Templar means you are at the mercy of the Order. You cannot just up and leave whenever you like.”

 

“Surely they would let you leave to see your family.”

 

“They would in cases of emergency, but other than that it was rare.”

 

“Was leaving for Templar training the last time you saw your family?”

 

Cullen took a sip of his wine and nodded. 

 

Evelyn furrowed her eyebrows and thought for a second before saying, “I understand if you have a reason for not seeing them. But if there isn’t a real reason, you should at least attempt to see them. You said before that you miss them. And we aren’t so far away that it would be inconvenient. The Inquisition can survive without you for a week or two.”

 

“Thank you, Evelyn. I would really like to see them, but there are some… things... I would like to work on before I make contact with them again.”

 

“Take you time, Commander. But know that time can be cruel and not always work out in our favor. That being said, please know that I am here if you need to talk to me about anything,” Evelyn said with a smile. She took a sip of her mead but when she put her cup down, some foam clung to her lip. 

 

“Oh you’ve got some,” Cullen said, pointing to his lip. 

 

Evelyn touched her lip and looked at her froth covered finger. Her eyes lit up and she said, “I have another game.”

 

“Oh no. I have a feeling this is going to be-”

 

“Fun? Glorious? Wonderful? All of the above,” she chirped. She pondered for a minute before diving her finger into her cup and drawing foam across her lip into a devilish mustache. “Who am I?” She was grinning so widely it was hard not to mirror it.

 

“Hmmmm… I’m just not sure,” Cullen said feigning ignorance. 

 

“Maybe this will help,” she said, slipping her tunic off her shoulder. “Hmm hmmm magisters hmmm.”

 

Cullen was caught by her exposed shoulder for a moment. He followed the line from her long neck to the edge of her shirt. Her skin was so so smooth, the coloring a warm olive tone dotted with freckles. He tore himself away and reprimanded himself for getting distracted so easily.  

 

He opened his mouth to answer, but before he could a loud cry permeated the air. “You had better not be making fun of me!” He heard Dorian yell.

 

Evelyn snickered into her mug of mead. “I would never dream of it.”

 

Dorian strode up to them. “You have it all wrong too. Wrong color, wrong hair, wrong je ne sais quoi,” he said with a flourish of his hand.

 

Evelyn stuck out her tongue at Dorian. Dorian responded in kind. Cullen laughed. 

 

“Well if you’re going to make fun of me, who’s next,” Dorian said with crossed arms.

 

Evelyn giggled and put a small amount of foam onto her cheeks and chin as well.

 

“Why, that looks like the spitting image of our dear, handsome commander,” Dorian exclaimed with a wink at him.

 

Cullen laughed. “I will admit- it is spot on. I had no idea I was so pretty.” He immediately realized what he said and could feel his cheeks redden. He took a sip of his wine to try to feign indifference to the situation.

 

Evelyn blushed while also taking a sip of her drink. She shot him a glance over her glass then quickly looked away. 

 

Dorian, bless him, continued talking without a break, “Well not nearly as pretty as some. Me. I’m talking about me.”

 

Evelyn swooped in with, “When are you ever not talking about yourself?”

 

“It is rare, I will admit. But I am just so interesting and fun!”

 

Evelyn rolled her eyes at him. Her eyes widened and she gasped. “I’ve got another one!” she said with a grin, dipping her hand into the drink. She pulled her tunic down and put a few curls on her upper chest in foam. 

 

“Oh that one’s easy,” Cullen started.

 

Before he could finish his sentence he heard from across the tavern, “I’m more than just chest hair you know!”

 

Cullen turned around and saw Varric seated with some friends in the corner.

 

“That’s right, you’re also a crossbow!” Evelyn parried back. 

 

Varric laughed and went back to his conversation. Cullen turned back to see Evelyn wiping the last of her “beard” away with a cloth. Dorian was nowhere to be seen. 

 

Evelyn sipped on her mead. Cullen took a sip of his wine. They avoided eye contact and sat in awkward silence for a few minutes. Finally, he said, “I’m sorry for saying that. It was inappropriate and I shouldn’t have said anything.”

 

“Oh…,” she said, looking at the floor.

 

“Well, I mean, it’s not that I don’t think you’re pretty. You are. It’s just that you are the Herald of Andraste and we are in the midst of a war of sorts.” He could feel himself blushing and he was rubbing the back of his neck. “It was inappropriate and I am sorry if I crossed a line.”

 

The small smile on her face couldn’t hide her blush. “So you do think I’m pretty.” 

 

Cullen responded with a slight nod of his head while he took a sip of his drink. He couldn’t help but thinking she looked particularly adorable in this moment. She was being shy, which was a new side of her Cullen had never seen. She was always so in charge of each moment, so sure of herself.

 

“It’s nice for something to be noticed about me as a person, not as the Herald of Andraste. Most people look at me as a commodity, someone they can use for something. ‘Find our druffalo,’ or ‘close this rift,’ or ‘help me find someone,’ or ‘kill these bandits.’ I feel like no one ever sees me as a person with feelings and emotions and fears, just like everyone else. I don’t know. It’s nice to just be seen as a pretty girl for once, so thank you.”

 

Neither one of them could stop blushing and smiling at each other. Cullen was surprised she wasn’t mad at him, but instead thanked him. Maybe she felt something towards him besides just friendship. He didn’t want to think about it, but the thought was rampant in his head. Just thinking it gave him butterflies in his stomach. The thought of her lips against his, whisper soft, her hands working their way into his hair. His tongue gaining access to her mouth, her moan in response. She was looking at him in a way that made him think she was thinking the same thing. Her eyes darted to his mouth and she bit her lip.

 

“Just kiss already!” someone yelled from across the tavern. Both of them jumped and looked at Sara, who held her nose and stuck out her tongue. “I can’t look at you two without feelin all gross so get on with it.”

 

“Well said,” Dorian interjected. 

 

“What? I- we are not,” Cullen stammered.

 

Evelyn looked just as red in the face as he felt. “I’m gonna head off then. I need to rest up for the whole rift closing thing tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah I should probably do the same,” he said, rubbing his neck.

 

“Um, thanks for the drink. This was fun… mostly,” she shot a glance at Sara who stuck her tongue out in response, completely unapologetic. She turned to him and gave him a little smile before darting out the door.

 

Cullen waited a good minute before leaving. He did NOT want to bump into her after that to make it even more awkward. On his way to his quarters, he mulled the conversation over. He couldn’t deny that in that moment, he wanted to kiss her. He should have kept his mouth shut about the whole thing though. They were in the midst of a war and he… He didn’t have the mental capabilities for anything like this now. He was stretched so thin with the troops and his lyrium withdrawals. It was hard enough to function on daily business.

 

Still, he could not stop thinking about her lips and her flushed cheeks, her green eyes sparkling with laughter, the way she always listened to his opinion, even when she didn’t agree with him, how she was always so genuine and caring and thoughtful… Maker, he was in trouble.


	17. Chapter 17

This was a nightmare. Maybe if she pinched herself she would wake up. She could barely concentrate on what Cullen was saying.

 

“If we are to have a chance- if you are to have a chance- let that thing hear you.” He was looking at her with mixed emotion- regret, anger, fear, something more. She nodded at him and he turned around a jogged off with what was left of Haven. He took one last look over his shoulder at her before he left through a door in the back of the Chantry. 

 

Evelyn turned around and surveyed those who chose to stay behind: Bull, Dorian, and Blackwall. They all looked at her with a mixture of determination and barely concealed terror. This was likely to be their last night alive. She had given her all to the Inquisition so far and she should have known this would be how it would end. She just hoped she could take as many of them with her as she could. 

 

The first few templars were easy to cut down. Between Bull’s sweeping blows, Blackwall’s measured but relentless attacks and Dorian’s fireballs it was fast work. She shielded everyone and provided some minor fire from the rear. 

 

Once the Red Templars started showing up, it was much harder. The sight of them made her queasy. To think these were once humans- people who had families and friends. They were now grotesque malformed husks of Templars. She hoped none of them were people she once knew. She wouldn’t wish this fate upon her worst enemy. She warned Bull and Blackwall to steer clear of touching the red lyrium protruding from their misshapen forms. 

 

After narrowly escaping becoming a scorch mark from that damn dragon, she looks up in time to see a figure coming out of the flames. Long fingers like talons, ribs jutting out, disfigured face- she was terrified. The dragon came up behind her to block her one path of escape. She turned her fear into pure white rage and channeled it at this deformed being, deflecting every twisted belief. 

 

He smelled putrid, like rotting flesh. She saw the flare from against the trebuchet where this Corypheus threw her and she felt part of her unwind. At least some of them made it out. She hoped Bull, Dorian and Blackwall were halfway there too. With one last burst of anger, she kicked the trebuchet handle, causing a massive avalanche. She ran as fast as she could and jumped into a crevice, hitting her side on a beam and feeling her ribs crack. 

 

Thankfully she didn’t black out when she landed- the damp floor would have been her death. She did a body scan: at least four broken ribs, twisted ankle, shoulder out of socket and her head hurt something awful- probably a concussion. 

 

She used what little of her magic she could muster to partially mend her ribs- at least to keep them from puncturing her lungs. She dragged herself past several demons, barely lifting her arm to dispense them with some new rift power she seemed to have. 

 

The multiple avalanches had started a blizzard, the wind went all the way through her. She stopped feeling her fingers and toes two minutes in. She hoped she was walking in the right direction. She was all twisted around. Her head was fuzzy, she could barely remember her own name. All she knew was that she had to keep walking. Walking. Walking. She noticed she wasn’t walking. She was supposed to be walking. She couldn’t feel her legs anymore so it was hard to get them up and moving again. So slowly. Just keep walking. Walking. Walking. Huh, it looked like there was a fire here recently. That sounded good to her for some reason, although she couldn’t remember why. Oh, she was on her knees again though she didn’t think she had the strength to get up. She thought she heard something but couldn’t be sure. Her eyes were having trouble seeing- there was black all around the edges. It was slowly closing in and she didn’t even feel her body hit the ground.

 

…

 

Cullen was pacing. He couldn’t stop pacing. He was walking around and around and trying to think but it was impossible. Evelyn had come back, but she was so cold and so still they were worried it was too late when they found her. Cullen still remembers picking her up from the snow- her lips blue, her body shaking uncontrollably.  _ Don’t worry, Evelyn. I’ve got you, everything will be okay.  _ But Maker was it good to see her. He was worried he would never see her again, the odds were stacked so far against her it seemed impossible for her to make it back to him. But she did, as always.

 

She finally woke up a few hours later, after Mother Giselle had worked her magic on her. She drank and elfroot potion, then a lyrium potion. She was finally able to heal herself the rest of the way, as best she could in her condition. She immediately fell back asleep, exhausted. 

 

They were all exhausted but no one could sleep. The future held too many unknowns for his own comfort. Leliana, Josephine, and Cassandra were uneasy too and they couldn’t help but bicker about what to do next. Cullen stopped his pacing to glance back at the Herald, as he had been doing periodically, and was surprised to see her sitting up on her cot. She peered at him, but turned her attention back to Mother Giselle and the conversation they were having. 

 

He was bewildered when, a few minutes later, he heard Mother Giselle singing a lesser known canticle. The words brought light to his soul and he joined in from what he remembered. The song helped him remember the cause, remember what they were fighting for, remember that there could be a silver lining to their tragedy. 

 

And there was.

 

Over the following days, Evelyn was a beacon in the dark- the leader of their Inquisition. Everyone’s passion had been renewed and she was there to channel it into the cause. And they needed it desperately. Many had been injured and Evelyn dispensed her magic as best she could, but some had been sitting with injuries too long and it would take days of her ministrations to help them. They were put onto mounts which left every abled bodied person to make the hike through snowy, mountainous wilderness with over a hundred people including children and civilians.

 

Somehow, they all made it to their new headquarters- Skyhold. Maker, was it a sight. Within a week of getting everyone settled as much as possible, it was evident to everyone that Evelyn was their perfect leader. It was made so when she took the ceremonial longsword. When she thrust the sword into the air she looked fierce and beautiful and everything a true leader should look like. He was proud to serve her and couldn’t wait to see where this Inquisition would go in her capable hands. 

 

…

 

Evelyn watched from a distance as Cullen barked out orders to his men. It seemed like a lifetime since their last interaction- when he told her she was pretty. She wondered if he still thought that after all that had happened. She pushed the thought aside. This was business- they needed to keep their heads in the game. The stakes were high- too high for any mistakes. She straightened her shoulders and walked up to the commander.

 

He seemed to sense her and spoke before turning around, “We set up as best we could at Haven, but we never could have prepared for an archdemon- or whatever it was. With some warning, we might have…”

 

He looked so upset- like the attack was his fault. She tried to cheer him up with, “Do you ever sleep?”

 

That didn’t seem to do the trick though. This man was all business. “If Corypheus strikes again, we may not be able to withdraw… and I wouldn’t want to. We must be ready. Work on Skyhold is underway, guard rotations established. We should have everything on course within the week. We will not run from here Inquisitor.”

 

“How many were lost at Haven?”

 

“Most of our people made it to Skyhold. It could have been much worse. Morale was low, but it improved greatly since you accepted the role of Inquisitor.”

 

“Everyone has so much faith in my leadership. I hope I’m ready.” It was a lot of responsibility- sometimes it felt like the fate of the world sat on her shoulders alone.

 

As if he sensed what her inner monologue was, Cullen said, “You won’t have to carry the Inquisition alone. Although it must feel like it. We needed a leader; you have proven yourself.”

 

She smiled at that, “Thank you, Cullen.”

 

He smiled back at her. It was such a nice moment- it reminded her that it almost didn’t happen. That there was a reality in which either of them didn’t make it out. “Our escape from Haven… it was close. I’m relieved that you- so many made it out.”  _ No, please Maker please let that have not happened, _ she groaned to herself.

 

“As am I,” Cullen replied. He looked lost in thought, upset thinking about Haven. 

 

Evelyn decided to leave before she said anything else stupid. Before she could get too far, Cullen grabbed her elbow and said, “You stayed behind. You could have- I will not allow the events at Haven to happen again. You have my word.”

 

His response lit a spark in her, one she couldn’t identify just yet.


	18. Chapter 18

Evelyn traipsed around Skyhold for two weeks. Two weeks of helping to clear rubble, talk to everyone about what happened, HAWKE!!, hear about what her people said about her while in costume, find out Cole was a blasted spirit, apparently judging people was now a thing?, DAGNA, stirring things up between Cassandra and Varric. It was fun, but exhausting. 

 

She was running up some stairs on the battlements when she quite literally ran into Cullen. She nearly fell backwards but he grabbed her arm to help her right herself. 

 

“Inquisitor! I’m sorry, I was not paying attention to where I was going.”

 

“I could say the same thing about myself. You know I was just thinking about you,” she said with a smile. 

 

He looked surprised, “You were?”

 

“Yeah. I was just thinking that since things are getting more normal here,” Cullen snorted at that. “I said MORE normal. Anyways, I was thinking maybe we could go back to our lessons?”

 

He thought for a moment before saying, “I think I have taught you as far as I can. I would be happy to spar with you for practice, but an expert in dagger weilding would probably serve you better than I could.”

 

Evelyn nodded but was still saddened by this. “With all of the work around Skyhold, we haven’t… I haven’t really seen you much. I thought that… maybe we could… I don’t know,” she said to the ground. 

 

“Hmmmm…. I think I have some time after my current engagement. Give me one hour and meet me in the gardens,” Cullen said. “That is if you have time.”

 

“I do-”

 

“Good, I will see you then,” he said making a hasty retreat down the stairs. 

 

Evelyn thought about their encounter on her way back up the stairs. Was she going to spar with him? No, he would have told her if that was the case. Was this… did he ask her on a date? Would she want to go on a date with him? The thought of it gave her butterflies in her stomach. He was definitely very handsome and she had, on more than one occasion, thought about kissing him. They got along really well to the point where they had comfortable silences, which is more than she could say about most people. He made her laugh and brought out a more sincere yet light hearted version of herself. 

 

Once she got to the battlements of Skyhold she surveyed the surrounding mountains. She also came to a very sobering realization- she liked Cullen. In a more than friends way. It may have been like that for a long time, but finally admitting it was terrifying. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if they started a relationship and it didn’t work out? Would that make things harder for this war and those fighting alongside her? What if, what if, what if? There were so many what if’s that she couldn’t think straight. 

 

Should she change? What did he want to meet her for? Blast it all she didn’t know what to do. She decided to change out of her dirty running around Skyhold outfit of all beige. She decided on her knee high brown boots and matching gloves, green breeches, a forest green tunic and leather vest. She topped it all off with a dark brown belt and matching scarf. She took a look at herself in the mirror in her room. She took her dark brown hair out of it’s braid. It fell almost to her butt it was so long. She decided against it and rebraided it into her signature side plait. Perfect.

 

She walked casually down to the gardens, not knowing what to expect. She spotted Cullen sitting with Dorian. They were playing chess of all things. 

 

“Gloat all you like, I have this one.”

 

“Are you  _ sassing _ me Commander? I didn’t know you had it in you.”

 

“Why do I even-” Cullen noticed Evelyn walk up next to them. “Evelyn,” he said, getting up.

 

“Leaving already? Does this mean I win?”

 

“Are you two playing nice?” she asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

 

“I’m  _ always _ nice,” Dorian said with a smirk. “You need to come to terms with my inevitable victory. You’ll feel much better.”

 

“Really? Because I just won and I feel fine,” Cullen said, leaning back in his chair with a grin.

 

“Don’t get smug. There with be no living with you,” Dorian said, getting up. He glanced at Evelyn and winked on his way by. She wondered what that was about. 

 

Cullen motioned to the chair Dorian just vacated and said, “Care for a game?”

 

“Prepare the board, Commander,” she said, sitting in the chair. She studied his face as he moved the pieces to their starting positions. He looked so relaxed and happy- a hint of a smiled tweaked the corners of his mouth, no crease in his brow, no clenched jaw. It was miles from the man that counselled her at the war table. She decided she wanted to see him like this as much as possible. 

 

She was pulled out of her reverie when he started talking. “As a child, I played this with my sister. She would get this stuck-up grin whenever she won- which was  _ all _ the time. My brother and I practiced together for weeks. The look on her face when I finally won… I wonder if she still plays.”

 

“You have a sister?”

 

“Two sisters and a brother.”

 

“Where are they now,” she asked, moving a piece on the board.

 

“They moved to South Reach after the blight. I do not write them as often as I should… Ah, it’s my turn,” he said, moving one of his knights. 

 

“When was the last time you spoke to someone in your family?”

 

He looked sheepish and didn’t respond.

 

“Cullen…”

 

“When I first got to Haven. I just haven’t had the time since.”

 

Evelyn didn’t say anything and moved her castle over.

 

“I will admit, I need to write her. It is hard after so long to find the right words to say,” he said, looking forlorn. 

 

This was the opposite of what she wanted to happen. She needed to change the subject fast, keep it light hearted. “Did you leave anyone behind in Kirkwall?”

 

“No, I fear I made few friends there.”

 

She knew she was fishing and didn’t care about it one bit. “No one special caught your interest?”

 

He looked at her pointedly, “Not in  _ Kirkwall _ .”

 

Did he… was that… She could feel her face flush and looked at the board pretending to study it intensely. She couldn’t help the grin that escaped her control and slithered up her cheeks. She was pretty sure he just alluded to her and… well  _ something _ . She didn’t know what but it was a start.

 

“What about you? Did you leave anyone behind anywhere?”

 

He was concentrating on his next move a little too hard, her involuntary smile doubled in size. She managed to wrestle it and control her face again. “Oh you mean between the circle falling and me running and hiding for my life from Templars? No, I’m afraid I didn’t really have the time or energy to have a someone. Funny enough, my life is probably more in danger now and I have even less time on my hands. But somehow that doesn’t seem to be such a big deal anymore,” she said, moving a piece on the board.

 

Although he was still looking at the board, she could see his smile. 

 

“Anyways. I had a boyfriend of sorts in my circle, but it all fell apart after Ostwick. We weren’t very serious. He wanted to fight with the Templars, felt it was his duty, but I wanted to stay out of it. I dated a few people here and there in my circle but none of them would work out in the end. It was a very limited stock to choose from.”

 

Cullen nodded. “The same went for the Templars as well, although we were allowed to leave and some had homes outside of the circle. I myself always lived in the circles and only ventured out on occasion. Sometimes the guys would drag me out to a tavern,” he chuckled, lost in his memories. “Back in Kinloch Hold, we would go to this hole in the wall and get so drunk on ale. We would be out almost all night and when we woke up the next day we would feel like we had been roused from the dead. I think we managed to keep that tavern in afloat because that place was always empty.”

 

“The tavern in Haven was the first tavern I had ever been to. I had always wanted to go to one, since they sounded so interesting in the stories I had heard. 

 

“What? Really? I guess that should not be such a shock. I’m sure many mages never get the chance if they go to the tower at a young age. There are many things as a Templar you just don’t think about mages. Yes, they are never to leave the tower, but the extent of that was lost on me in many ways.”

 

“Yes, and it didn’t help that because the Templars were there to keep order, they seemed almost like jailors. Like the Templars were the ones who locked them up in the first place. It is easy for us to place the blame on them when they are not all bad and, in many cases, just trying to help.”

 

“You know, we have learned a lot from each other. I think you may have been right when you said the Maker brought us together to learn and heal,” Cullen said with a smile which she returned. “This may be the longest we’ve gone without discussing the Inquisition- or related matters. To be honest, I appreciate the distraction.”

 

“We should spend more time together.”

 

Cullen looked at her and responded quickly, “I would like that.”

 

“Me too,” she said, hiding yet another smile while she moved a piece on the board.

 

A breeze picked up as Cullen looked at the board with a small smile. She thought she heard him say something, but it was so faint she couldn’t be sure. He spoke before she could ask him, “We should finish our game. Right? My turn?”

 

He wasn’t even attempting to hide his smile now and her stomach did a little flip. She was too distracted the rest of the game to pay much attention to her moves. 

 

“And this one’s mine,” Cullen said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back.

 

“It seems luck favored you today.”

 

“So it has,” he said, behind steepled fingers, masking his expression. 

 

He stood up and so did she. “This was enjoyable. I look forward to our next match,” he said with a smirk as he walked back toward the barracks.

 

Evelyn was so overwhelmed with her feelings. She wandered to a bench in the garden to mull it over. The nearby rose bush was so beautiful, she plucked a flower from it and twirled in between her fingers. The way Cullen was acting made it seem that he felt the same way she did. But how could he? He was so handsome and dashing and everything a character from a romance novel should be. He is a man women swoon over. And she, well, she wasn’t terrible looking but she was sure he could probably take his pick of any woman in Thedas. 

 

She sighed. But his smile. He smiled at her with his lopsided grin and it made her heart melt and break and butterflies flutter in her stomach and all the things they say in those same novels. She gasped as she pricked her thumb on a thorn from the stem she was holding. A small bead of blood appeared and she sucked on the offending digit. 

 

“You know I could get good money to inform some people that the leader of the Inquisition sucks her thumb,” Dorian stepped around a bush, book in hand. 

 

“You know I could have you killed very easily and without much effort,” she shot back at him.

 

“Yes but then you would have to live in a world without me. That would be a sad world indeed, one I shant want to live in. Anyways, I noticed you mooning over here and came to join in,” he said, joining her on the bench.

 

“What?! I am not  _ mooning _ !”

 

“You were holding a rose and sighing. That is textbook mooning. Probably over our very handsome, and incredibly straight commander.”

 

Evelyn shot him a dirty look, “I am not having this discussion with you.”

 

“Fine. Then I will have this discussion  _ at _ you instead. You just had a wonderful game with our dear Cullen and you both blushed and blundered your way through the whole thing disgustingly. And now you’re like ‘does he like me? I bet he doesn’t’ blah blah blah. It’s all dreadfully boring, but there isn’t really much else going on around here.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry to be such a bore. Maybe you could, I don’t know, go do something else less boring.”

 

“You can’t get rid of me that easily. Answer me honestly, how close was I?”

 

Evelyn considered saying nothing but caved. “Almost 100%,” she said, deflating. “I don’t know what to do about it!”

 

“Isn’t the obvious thing to rip off all his clothes and make tender, fumbling, blushing love to him?”

 

Evelyn snorted, “Yes, I see your point. I will go do that now.”

 

“If only you would. It would be so simple and easy. I have thought about it too, but I don’t think he would react the same way to me doing it.”

 

Evelyn laughed, “You never really know until you try it.”

 

“I like the way you think. But seriously- you should tell him how you feel. If anyone deserves an earth shattering orgasm, it’s me. And then you,” he said with a smirk.

 

Evelyn hit him on the arm, “You are such an ass.”

 

“Tell him. Like you said, you never really know until you try it. I have a feeling you will not regret it,” he said, getting up from the bench. 

 

“Please don’t tell anyone about this, Dorian,” she said with a groan.

 

“My lips are sealed. But I get one free pass from you at a later time.”

 

Evelyn rolled her eyes at him, but nodded. She had a feeling that would be trouble later on down the line.


	19. Chapter 19

The song was taunting him. He could hear it singing in his veins, calling to him with the most beautiful voice. His head was throbbing, sweat trickled down the back of his neck, yet his arms and legs felt frozen.  _ All of this could be a distant memory _ , the song promised.  _ Just take me and float away on a cloud of bliss…. _

 

Cullen stared at the box of lies on his desk and heard the door to his office close. He wasn’t ready for this, but it had to be done. “As leader of the Inquisition, you…,” he trailed off.  _ Just do it _ , he chided himself. He sighed, “there’s something I must tell you.”

 

He looked up at Evelyn who was dressed in a simple earth colored outfit he liked. She looked fresh faced and bright eyed as usual and wore an amused expression. She looked exactly the opposite of how he felt. She must have just returned from Crestwood earlier in the day since her hair was still damp from a recent washing. 

 

“You’re being especially serious today,” she mused.

 

If it was any other day and he was feeling any other way he would have laughed. As it was he didn’t. “I know.” What if she kicked him out? What if she looked down on him for this? What if she didn’t want to be friends with him any more? The more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to. The idea of her finding him disgusting or unworthy of her kicked him in the stomach. He exhaled forcefully to help fortify himself for the following conversation. “Lyrium grant Templars our abilities, but it controls us as well. Those cut off suffer- some go mad, others die. We have secured a reliable source of lyrium for the Templars here. But I… no longer take it.” He couldn’t look at her or else he couldn’t finish what he needed to say.

 

“You stopped?” She sounded surprised.

 

“When I joined the Inquisition. It’s been months now.”

 

“Cullen, if this could kill you…” He could hear raw emotion in her voice. 

 

He quickly glanced at her but her face was calm and composed. He wondered if he imagined it. He gazed back at the offending box of parefenalia. “It hasn’t yet. After what happened in Kirkwall I couldn’t… I will not be bound to the Order- or that life- any longer. Whatever the suffering, I accept it. But I would not put the Inquisition at risk. I have asked Cassandra to… watch me. If my ability to lead is compromised, I will be relieved from duty.” He said it, he got through the whole thing. He dared look at her fully. She met his gaze steadily, then moved to stand nearer his desk.

 

“Are you in pain,” she asked, looking worried.

 

“I can endure it.”

 

She looked at him for a minute before saying, “Thank you for telling me. I respect what you are doing.”

 

Cullen felt shocked. Shouldn’t she be angry, upset with him for not telling her sooner, deciding to not take it, anything? He managed to say, “Thank you, Inquisitor.” He rubbed his brow and wandered over to his bookshelf. “The Inquisition army must always take priority. Should anything happen… I will defer to Cassandra’s judgement.”

 

Evelyn looked like she wanted to say something else, but instead pursed her lips. She nodded at him and set off towards Solas’ chambers. 

 

Cullen deflated after she left and melted into the chair at his desk. That had gone well, almost too well. He didn’t know why it took him so long to tell her, he had told Leliana and Josephine when he joined the Inquisition almost a year ago. Just the threat of disapproval from her was enough to set him on edge. And it wasn’t just that she was the leader of the Inquisition, it was more than that. And it wasn’t just that she was his friend, it was more than that too. 

 

He felt a stab of pain behind his right eye and held his head in his hands. Evelyn would be something he would contemplate at a later time, maybe once this headache was gone.

 

…

 

The next day Cullen was on his way back from the barracks when he heard an unmistakable peal of laughter from Evelyn coming from the tavern. The sound made him smile so he decided to make a pit stop and see what she was up to. She was sitting at a table, drink in hand with Bull, Dorian, Sara, Varric, and Blackwall. Her eyes were dancing, her hair pulled back in her signature braid. Her cheeks were rosy with laughter. Cullen smiled at them all enjoying themselves. He was about to step back outside when Evelyn looked up and caught his eye. She waved him over and he had no other choice but to join them. 

 

“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t have brought me,” Dorian pouted.

 

“It was a  _ fire elemental _ Dorian,” Evelyn said, rolling her eyes. “What were you going to do? Throw more fire at it?”

 

“I also know some necromancy spells!”

 

“You know like 2 spells. And Vivienne could do much more damage with her ice spells- you know- the opposite of fire.”

 

Cullen found a seat near Bull but close to the door. One of the barmaids brought Cullen a drink and he took a sip. The mead was cold and delicious.

 

“Yeah Dorian, she didn’t take me neither and you don’t hear me whining on about it,” Sara said.

 

“Alright, fine!” Evelyn said, exasperated. “Would it make you feel better if I bring you along next time I fight a dragon?”

 

Cullen, who was mid sip, nearly choked and sputtered into his cup. “A dragon?!” he managed to croak out.

 

Evelyn grinned at him. “Oh that’s right. I may have forgotten to mention that at the War Table. Huh oops,” she shrugged her shoulders.

 

“It was spectacular!” Bull bellowed. 

 

“It would have been more spectacular if I had been there,” Dorian said, putting his nose up. 

 

“Bull is right- it was amazing! I’ve encountered a few more- I’m sure we can find one that is an ice elemental,” Evelyn said pointedly at Dorian, who looked smugly at Bull. Bull just shook his head and chuckled into his mug.

 

Cullen frowned, “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Do you need to put yourself in such great danger unnecessarily?”

 

“Well we had been dodging the thing for weeks and it was close enough to one of our camps to be a concern. I don’t know- Bull made it sound very enticing.”

 

Everyone looked at Bull who just shrugged his shoulders and said matter-of-factly, “I really wanted to fight a dragon.”

 

Evelyn picked up her coaster and threw it at Bull, who dodged it, but didn’t quite dodge Sara’s which hit him in the shoulder. Now everyone was throwing coasters at Bull who had chosen to give up and just sipped his drink like nothing was happening. Everyone was laughing. 

 

Cullen suddenly felt like he was intruding on this group. He managed to slip out of the booth while everyone was distracted with coasters. He walked up the steps in the tavern and came out on the ramparts. The night was brisk and the cold air felt good against his cheeks and in his lungs. 

 

He leaned against the ramparts and stared at the moonlight against the mountain peaks. He heard the door creak open and shut. He didn’t even need to look behind him to see who it was. He could just sense her closeness. Evelyn came to stand on his right and surveyed the scenery with him. 

 

“You know, I kinda miss our talks on the walls of Haven,” Evelyn said. 

 

“Me too,” Cullen said. When she didn’t respond he added, “I wanted to thank you, by the way.”

 

“What for?”

 

He took a moment to pick his words carefully. “For being so understanding of my decision to quit lyrium. I wasn’t sure how you would take it, but I never anticipated you being so supportive. So thank you.”

 

She turned and looked at him, “Of course I would support your decision! It is not something to take on lightly, especially with the,” she paused, “extensive risks, but you are a practical and thorough person, so I trust your judgement and Cassandra’s. Honestly, I think what you are doing is so noble and brave. We have other Templars here that no longer want anything to do with the Order but are chained by it with their addiction, or will be if they leave the Inquisition. By doing this you are showing them that there are other ways. I really respect that.”

 

Cullen couldn’t look at her while she praised him. He felt such a huge wave of relief wash over him at her words that he had a lump in his throat. He nodded and was finally able to say, “Your opinion on this matter means a lot to me. Thank you.”

 

Evelyn placed her gloved hand on his right bracer and without even thinking he placed his left hand on top of hers. He could feel its warmth through both her leather gloves and his metal plate. She leaned against him and put her head on his shoulder. Being this close to her, he could smell her- she smelled of grass and sunshine, flowers and fresh air. He could never imagine this woman being locked in a circle tower, not allowed to go outside. To him, she was the essence of a spring day. She was always bright, thoughtful, and kind. Her smile could part the clouds of a rainy day, he had no doubt about it.

 

“Cullen?”

 

“Mmmm?”

 

“I, um, I need to talk to you about something.” Her voice sounded strained, anxious. She pulled away from him and worked her hands together. She turned and faced him so he mirrored her. She was biting her bottom lip, which he found to be strangely alluring in the moment. She looked so nervous about something, which in turn made him feel uneasy.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I… um… I like,” she sighed. She met his eyes, “Cullen- I care... do you-”

 

“Care about what?” He asked, bewildered.

 

She looked scared for a moment. “Ummmm Spar. Um I mean I would like to spar- do you have time tonight?” She sighed in resignation.

 

Cullen was taken aback, “Spar? I have time. Is that all you wanted to ask?”

 

Evelyn’s cheeks were red, she nodded. “I have the overwhelming urge to hit something just now.”

 

“Alright. I can go down there now. Do you need to change?”

 

“No, this is sturdy enough, I think.”

 

They headed down the the practice yard where there were plenty of wooden swords and shields for their purposes. They had sparred several times since they came to Skyhold, with Cullen winning the majority of the time. Evelyn was better than she was at Haven, but she still hadn’t taken the time to find a good teacher to get advanced training. She said she could learn from Cole, but he didn’t seem to be the best option for a teacher in his opinion. 

 

They faced each other and went through the beginning motions. By now they had learned each other’s weakest points and those were the first to be tested. They danced around each other, jabbing here, bashing there, dodging this move, trying this swipe. Finally, he was able to put his sword to her exposed side, winning the first round. The second round, he rushed her and tried a shield bash, but she was too quick, doing a shoulder roll on the ground and popping up right behind him with her sword to his spine. 

 

Five minutes into the third round and he was coated in a layer of sweat. He had taken off his mantle after the first bout. Evelyn had taken off her green scarf and the tendrils of hair that had escaped her braid were stuck to her face. He absently watched a bead of sweat roll down her chest before almost losing an arm to her downward attack. He spun out of the way, but she hooked her leg through his and he fell. His hip and elbow hit the ground hard and his shield skittered away. Without giving her the chance to gather her attack, he grabbed her ankle and pulled up, throwing off her balance so she fell too. Taking advantage of her temporary daze, he crawled over to her. Before he got there, she sent out an unexpected kick to his hand causing his sword to fly, landing a few feet away. He noticed she didn’t have her dagger either, it had landed to the right. They looked at each other for a second, then both scrabbled toward the knife. Cullen had the advantage with a longer reach and his hand wrapped around the handle a second before hers could and he brought the dagger to her throat. 

 

“You got me,” she said breathily.

 

“So it seems,” he said with a grin.

 

He then registered what position they were in. He was straddling her, and he could feel his hip crooked in a very warm place between her thighs. They were both breathing heavily from exertion, and their faces were so close he could feel her breath stir his hair. The air between them shifted immediately to one of want, need, hunger. She looked at him with her big, bright green eyes and bit her lip. He wanted to lean down and bite her lip for her. He wanted to plunder her mouth and take no survivors. He wanted to run his hands up her sides and under her shirt. He wanted to feel her skin with his skin, almost like it was a need.

 

“Wooooo are you guys kissin yet?” He heard a decently slurred, and entirely unwelcome voice shout from behind them. 

 

He looked over his shoulder to see Sara trying to walk over to them. Dorian grabbed her elbow and steered her away. “They will never be ‘kissin’ if you keep interrupting them,” he heard him scold her.

 

Sara hiccoughed and laughed, “You think you know everything.”

 

Cullen and Evelyn extracted themselves delicately and dusted themselves off without a word or glance at each other. 

 

“I had better-”

 

“Yeah, I need to go do… stuff.” They both said at once. 

 

Evelyn gave a humorless laugh. “Thanks for the… practice. I’ll see you around,” she said and headed the other direction towards her quarters.

 

Cullen had a long and cold walk to his office/quarters to think about what happened. He had definitely wanted to kiss her. And even after the moment was over, the thought of kissing Evelyn made a surge of electricity go through his body. This was not a good sign. 


	20. Chapter 20

“You have been in a dreadfully awful mood the last few days, darling,” Vivienne said to her. 

 

They were sitting around the campfire in the Exalted Plains. A pot of rabbit stew was simmering over the fire and smelled wonderful. Cassandra was sharpening her sword methodically while Vivienne wrote a letter at a makeshift table. Evelyn had been trying to write an update to her advisors on the progress but everything was going wrong; her ink spilled, some of the paper flew away with a gust of wind. It was hard to concentrate on anything since she left Skyhold. 

 

Dorian upended his shoe and a few rocks tumbled out. “That’s because she’s got the hots for someone and hasn’t told him yet.”

 

Evelyn shot him a nasty look, “No I don’t.”

 

“Oh really? So I didn’t stumble across you two seconds away from making out the other day?”

 

“Nope. That was definitely not what was going on.”

 

“Oh, so you didn’t tell me you had feelings for this person in the garden a few weeks back,” Dorian said with an arched brow.

 

“Nope. And if you did I would have told you  _ not to tell anyone, _ ” she hissed.

 

“Sorry I don’t recall. Although I do recall me advising you to tell this certain someone.”

 

“Dorian,” she said, warningly.

 

“A certain someone who is very handsome.”

 

“ _ Dorian... _ ”

 

“A certain handsome someone who is good at chess,” he said, putting his boot back on and taking the other one off.

 

“Dorian!” Maybe if she said his name in enough different ways he would stop.

 

“A certain handsome and talented someone who goes by the name of C-”

 

At this point Evelyn had launched herself across the camp knocking Dorian off his log and sat sidesaddle on his stomach. She put her hand over his mouth. “Dorian, shut up. Also stop squirming, you are making it very difficult to shut you up.” 

 

He bucked her off and stood up, dusting off his robes. “You are a child, Evelyn.”

 

She stuck her tongue out at him. 

 

“Are you two quite done?” Cassandra asked. “Because I am not having a repeat of last time when the stew got kicked over.”

 

“Dorian started it,” Evelyn said.

 

He had the gall to look offended, “Me? I have never once done anything wrong in my life ever. The fault lies with you and your inability to tell this guy you like him.”

 

Evelyn deflated. “I had the perfect opportunity too, but I chickened out.”

 

“You know you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to,” Cassandra said. She was trying to look as nonchalant as possible, but Evelyn could tell she was dying to hear the story.

 

“Ugh, fine! But you guys can’t tell anyone. Although I don’t know how I can trust anyone after Dorian’s betrayal.”

 

“I did it for your own good. Maybe if you hear it from someone else you will actually do it this time.”

 

Evelyn launched into a condensed version of her story. “And I could have told him a few days ago but I just chickened out and instead asked if he wanted to spar. It was the worst and I have been kicking myself for days about it.”

 

“I wouldn’t call what I saw you two doing sparring,” Dorian snorted.

 

Evelyn shot him a look. “Despite what it looked like, that is all that happened.”

 

Cassandra had a dreamy look in her eye, “Oh, I’m sure he likes you back. You just can’t see it because you are in the middle of it. I bet he’s thinking the same thing back at Skyhold.”

 

“What? You think?”

 

“I have been Cullen’s friend and comrade for years. I have never seen him act like that with anyone,” she said, matter-of-factly.

 

“If he does feel the same way, you need to take into consideration what this could mean for the both of you if it is pursued. Some will think he gets special treatment even if he doesn’t. Once the Inquisition gets to be more influential you will both receive marriage proposals from families and people that could make powerful allies. It would benefit you to consider them,” Vivienne responded. 

 

“Oh nonesense. What you really need is a good roll in the hay,” Dorian shouted from across the campfire. 

 

Cassandra went red and Vivanne tsk-ed. Evelyn started laughing, “Maybe once Blackwall leaves the barn that could be arranged.”

 

Dorian barked with laughter and then composed himself and continued to read his book. Cassandra was pouring the stew into bowls and passing them out. “You know, I think Dorian is right.”

 

“About rolling in the hay,” Evelyn asked, surprised.

 

Cassandra blushed, “No. I mean about talking to him. If you two really do feel the same way about each other, then talking is the best way to work it out. We may all want to be swept away in a passionate and romantic moment, but that is rarely the case in reality.”

 

Evelyn blew on her hot soup while she thought about it. “I mean, I know you are right in theory. The execution is much harder.”

 

“You will just have to go for it,” Vivienne said. “You are a wonderful person and any person would be fortunate if you chose them.”

 

“Awww, Vivienne, that was really nice,” Evelyn said, reaching over and squeezing the woman’s hand.

 

“She’s right,” Cassandra said. “You are beautiful and caring and a good person. He would be lucky to have you.”

 

“Guy stop it! You’re going to make me cry,” she said, feeling herself already getting weepy.

 

“Yeah, you’re kinda alright,” Dorian shouted at her from his perch.

 

“Awww Dorian! That is the highest praise I’ve heard from you about anyone!” Evelyn laughed, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her tunic. “I guess if you all agree that’s the right move… then I have to do it.”

 

“What are you going to say? How are you going to tell him,” Cassandra asked with big eyes.

 

“I don’t know. I think I’m just going to wing it in the moment.”

 

…

 

The moment she dreaded came sooner than she wanted. They got as far as they could in the Exalted Plains before a bridge needed to be built so they turned around and marched back to Skyhold. They had been gone for a few weeks and it was a welcome sight to see. She briefed her advisors and reassigned some troops. She said hello to Cullen but was very aware of how long it had been since her last bath so she steered clear of him as much as she could. 

 

Evelyn made her way up the stairs to her quarters. She had a large bathtub installed months ago. She had worked with Dagna to create a system to bring in snow from the roof which would then melt in the tub with some specialty fire runes that made sure the water stayed hot. There was a drain that poured the dirty water into some pots of plants below her balcony. It was a perfect and amazing system that she was incredibly grateful for. 

 

The tub filled up with water and heated itself while she stripped away the disgusting layers of her clothing. She was pretty sure she still had zombie pieces in her hair. She used some lavender and elfroot buds to relax and heal all the small wounds she tended to pick up that weren’t worth concentrated healing. Some bruising, small cuts and scrapes, the occasional blister from walking or fighting.

 

She sighed as the she sat in the water and felt its warmth thaw her frozen fingers and toes. The mountains were so cold, it felt wonderful to be enveloped in such a warm and fragrant hug. She tried not to think about telling Cullen her feelings, but the harder she tried, the more she thought about it. She washed her hair, but she imagined Cullen telling her he didn’t feel the same way. She scrubbed between her toes, but she imagined Cullen professing his undying love to her. 

 

Finally, with an exasperated exhale, she got out and towelled herself dry. It was nearing dusk so Cullen would likely be in his office since he normally skipped dinner in the hall. She dressed in her usual brown and green outfit- nice and tight and the green brought out her eyes. She crushed a little more lavender between her fingers and rubbed it behind her ears. She expertly braided her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. This was as perfect as she could get- no more procrastination.

 

He stood at his bookshelf, holding a book in his hand. He glanced up when she came in, “Inquisitor.”

 

“I thought we could talk… alone.”

 

Cullen looked suddenly nervous, “Alone? I mean, of course.”

 

They walked along the ramparts towards the break in the wall since fewer people walked along here. The breeze was brisk today and the sun shone barely above the mountains. It would be maybe ten minutes before it sunk below them for the night. 

 

Cullen uncomfortably rubbed the back of his neck while Evelyn tried hard to keep her body language calm and at ease. Cullen said something, but the breeze carried it away.

 

“What,” she stopped and asked him.

 

“It’s… there was something you wished to discuss?”

 

She had no idea what she was going to say, so she just let something spill out. “Cullen, I care for you, and-” She sighed, not knowing what to say next. 

 

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

 

“You left the Templars, but do you trust mages? Could you think of me as anything more?”

 

“I could. I mean, I do… think of you. And what I might say in this sort of situation.”

 

Evelyn’s whole body was on edge. Did he feel the same way? Did he think of her as a charge to handle like he did when he was a Templar? Could this have all been in her mind and she was reading it wrong?

 

“And what is stopping you from saying what you want to say,” she managed to get out.

 

“You’re the Inquisitor. We’re at a war. And you, I didn’t think it was possible.”

 

Wait, did that mean… did he feel the same way? He took a step closer to her and her heart almost gave out. He definitely felt the same way. She stared into his honey colored eyes and saw the same emotions she felt- fear, trepidation, but most of all- want.

 

“And yet I’m still here,” she purred.

 

He took another step closer to her, “So you are… it seems too much to ask.” He was so close to her- he smelled of campfires and leather. His eyes were crinkled with a lopsided smile. She wanted nothing more than to feel his full lips on hers, taste his mouth, run her tongue along his scar, sink her teeth into his bottom lip. “But I want to-” he leaned in. 

 

“Commander!”

 

The air was suddenly cooler on her face as Cullen pulled away.

 

“You wanted a copy of Sister Leliana’s report,” one of the messengers said, strolling up to them.

 

“What!” Cullen growled.

 

Evelyn felt like she should just give this up. Maybe this was the universe telling her it wasn’t meant to be. Every time they got close to a kiss, something happened. She was frustrated and angry and hurt all at the same time. She felt like crying and hitting something and getting downright plastered to forget this whole thing.

 

She saw the messenger walk back the way he came. “If you need to-”

 

Cullen whipped around and crashed his lips onto hers. She was so shocked she froze for a second. Then she realized what was happening and she melted into him. His lips were soft and his stubble scratchy. He cupped her face with his hands and she wrapped her arms around his sides. She felt an electric bolt travel from her mouth all the way down to her sensitive parts. Her heart felt like it would explode out of her chest.

 

Cullen pulled back. “I’m sorry… that was… um... really nice,” he said to her with the sweetest smile.

 

“I believe that was a kiss. But I can’t be sure- it’s all a blur,” she said with a conspiratory smile.

 

Cullen laughed, “Yes, well, counterpoint-” and leaned in again. 

 

Since she knew it was coming this time, she wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her toes. He, in turn, snaked his arms around her waist and held her against his chest. His kisses were soft and feathery, but after a minuted they became hot and passionate. He swiped his tongue across her lips, asking for entrance which she readily gave. His hands slid up her sides to hold her closer. She tangled her fingers in his hair as their tongues danced. 

 

Finally he loosened his grip and his kisses turned soft and sweet again. He leaned back and looked at her with a grin. She couldn’t stop smiling and hid her face on his shoulder while he chuckled.

 

“We should probably get back to real life, huh?” She asked, muffled against his mantle.

 

“I think so.”

 

She leaned back and looked at him. “That was quite enjoyable. We should probably do it again sometime.”

 

He grinned, “I was planning on it.” He leaned down and brushed his lips gently against hers and stepped back. 

 

She straightened her clothes and stepped in line with him as they walked back to his office. “It’s about dinner time, do you want to go eat in the hall?”

 

“That would be nice, I haven’t actually eaten down there before.”

 

“What? You’ve never eaten there?”

 

“No, I usually have someone bring me my food so I can keep working. Or I will stop by the kitchens and get something.”

 

Evelyn smiled, “Well then I would like to formally ask you out on a date. To the mess hall. Full of a bunch of people. Compliments of the Inquisition. So like maybe the worst setting for a romantic evening.”

 

Cullen grinned, “I am a cheap date. Alright, lead the way.”

 

They headed down to the mess hall together. They were serving lamb shepherd’s pie and the smell hit them like a wave when they walked in the door. 

 

Varric waved them over, “Curly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eating with us peasants before. To what do we owe this momentous occasion?”

 

“Oh, um-”

 

“I dragged him here after finding out he only eats in his tower alone like an aging king,” Evelyn cut him off with a bubble of laughter. 

 

Varric chortled, “I mean, give it a few years and he would almost fit the part.”

 

Cassandra and Sara soon joined them. Cassandra gave Evelyn a pointed look at her and then the commander. Evelyn couldn’t help but grinning and Cassandra’s eyes widened but she smiled warmly. A little while later Bull and Dorian showed up. All in all it was a wonderful end to a fantastic day.

 


	21. Chapter 21

“The commander of the Inquisition and the Herald of Andraste.  _ That _ will have people talking,” Evelyn said with an arched brow. She had come into his office around dusk, like she had for the past two days, to escort him to dinner. Sometimes they would join the group, sometimes they would eat alone and talk. Here she was again to whisk him away to his new favorite time of the day. She had snuck in while he was reading a report and leaned across his desk to face him with her elbows on the wood and her head resting on her hands. She gazed at him with a amused expression, her brilliant emerald eyes dancing with mischief.

 

Cullen sighed, “You wouldn’t believe how quickly gossip spreads through the barracks.”

 

“Does it bother you?”

 

“I would rather my- our- private affairs remain that way, if possible. Buuut if there were nothing here for people to talk about, I would regret it more.”

 

Evelyn smiled her radiant smile at him, “Me too.”

 

Cullen returned her smile. “Although I have a feeling our dinners have not gone unnoticed.”

 

“They can’t prove anything. We are just good friends eating a meal.”

 

“True. I have a feeling that explanation won’t hold up to the normal chatter.”

 

Evelyn stood up and came around to his side of the desk. She leaned against it with her legs straight in front of her, crossed. “You know, we should probably tell Leliana at least. I mean she’s bound to find out sooner rather than later. What do you bet she already knows?”

 

Cullen sighed, “Knowing her, she knew about it before we did.”

 

Evelyn laughed, “You’re probably right.”

 

“But I agree- it would be best to tell her. She is known for her discretion and we can trust her to keep our relationship secret.” 

 

“Do you want to tell her or should I?”

 

“Maker- please do not make me do it.”

 

Evelyn snickered, “Alright I can do it.”

 

Cullen stood and stretched. “Shall we,” he asked and held out his elbow. 

 

She took it with a giggle and they headed out. The sun had completely set. He didn’t realize how late it had become- there was always some issue he needed to take care of. Some fire to put out or troops to deploy or what have you. The only time he truly got to relax and unwind was with Evelyn. She set him at ease and made the time he spent with her pass too quickly. 

 

“That day you kissed me on the battlements- how long had you wanted to do that,” Evelyn asked, bringing him out of his reverie. 

 

Cullen laughed, “Longer than I should admit.”

 

Evelyn smiled at the ground. They were walking down a partially concealed stairwell to the courtyard. She quickly leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He squeezed her hand in response.

 

“You don’t have much patience for nobility. I’m glad my title didn’t scare you off.”

 

Cullen was taken aback, “I hadn’t considered… I have no title outside the Inquisition. I hope that doesn’t- I mean  _ does _ it… bother you?”

 

“Oh no, Cullen. I’m sorry- I was just joking. Of course it doesn’t bother me. If you care for me- that’s all that matters. I wasn’t trying to put you on the spot.”

 

“I’m not very good at this, am I? If I seem unsure, it’s because it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted  _ anyone _ in my life. I wasn’t expecting to meet that here. Or you.”

 

They had gotten down to the courtyard, which was almost deserted. She glanced around and pulled him behind a rock outcrop, effectively hiding them from anyone’s prying eyes.

 

She looked at him intensely, “Cullen you are doing wonderfully- you are kind and sweet and so much fun to be with. I would have never expected to be here with you, but I am and so grateful for it. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, anywhere else.”

 

Cullen felt a dam break inside of him and he crashed his mouth to hers. She gave a surprised squeak but immediately melted into him. She snaked her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist. She met his fervor with her own. She granted him access to her mouth and her little moan almost sent him over the edge. She wound her hands into his hair and his found their way up the curve of her waist. His thumbs brushed against her breasts and she writhed against him. She broke away from his mouth to pepper kisses along his jaw and up to his ear, and sunk her teeth into the lobe. He growled, which seemed to spur her on harder. She worked her way down his neck, kissing and softly biting. He didn’t know how much more of this he could handle before he tossed her over his shoulder and carried her back to his bed. He captured her mouth again with his.

 

“Someone is coming,” he heard softly in his ear- almost as quiet as the breeze itself. 

 

He turned around, but there wasn’t anyone there.

 

“Shit, that was Cole, wasn’t it,” Evelyn asked. Her face was flushed, eyes unfocused, and her lips were slightly swollen. She looked delectable. 

 

Then they heard voices coming from not very far away- getting closer. They jumped apart and straightened themselves. There was one really good thing about wearing a mantle- you could use it to hide untoward situations behind. 

 

Evelyn whispered, “Cole- if you are still here- I could really use a distraction.”

 

A few seconds later, there was a loud crash as one of the barrells fell over on the opposite side of the courtyard, grabbing the attention of all near it. Evelyn pushed Cullen out of the cove and they briskly walked toward the kitchen. He used the chilled winter air as a cold shower of sorts. As soon as they got their food and took a seat, he looked at her. She started giggling, which made him chuckle, which made her start laughing, and soon enough they were both cracking up. Several people gave them funny looks but he didn’t care- he was having the time of his life.

 


End file.
